One-Liner Jokes

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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde goes to a store's deodorant display and tells the clerk, "I need to buy some deodorant for my husband."
"Does he use the ball kind?" inquired the clerk. "No," replied the blonde, "The kind for under his arms."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I didn't make it to the gym today...
That makes 1,523 days in a row I didn't go!

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One-Liner Jokes Fitness jokes

Chuck Norris on a pogo stick presents a danger to low flying aircraft.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ... All of it.

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One-Liner Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes

Ever been at your job and you get so bored and sick of doing it that you just go to the bathroom to hang out? You dont even need to go. You just want a change of scenery for a little bit.

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One-Liner Jokes

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Worse: With corrections.

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One-Liner Jokes

I went to see my doctor this morning. “Some one decided to graffiti my house last night!” I raged.
“So why are you telling me?” the doctor asked.
“I can't understand the writing,” I replied. “Was it you?”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Despite what some people think, since the world is arguably 75% water that is not carbonated,...
One could accurately say that it's technically flat.

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One-Liner Jokes

My wife asked me why I was doing the dishes while sitting down.
Told her it's because I can't stand doing it.

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One-Liner Jokes

A blonde walks into a bar that has a sign marked:
"For Men Only".
"I'm sorry, ma'am," says the bartender. "We only serve men in this place."
"That's OK," says the blonde. "I'll take two of them..."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What do you call a dog that won’t come when you call it, refuses to sleep in it’s bed, and seldom wants to play?
A cat.

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One-Liner Jokes Dog jokes

If a man is bald in front, he's a thinker...
If he's bald in the back, he is a lover...
If he's bald in the front and back, he thinks he's a lover.

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One-Liner Jokes

I can guarantee you won't feel any pain, in “no one's hurtin” terms.

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One-Liner Jokes

"Doctor, I think I'm a moth."
"It's not a doctor you need, it's a psychiatrist."
"I was on my way there when I saw your light on."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis.
The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said,
"Cure it, I want to prolong it!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

"You see, doctor, I’m always dizzy for half an hour after I get up in the morning,” said Carla.
"I have the solution for you," replied the doctor.
"Really, what is it?"
“Well, try getting up half an hour later."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

The 4 stages of man...
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
He looks like Santa Claus.

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Christmas Jokes One-Liner Jokes

I went to the doctors recently. He said,
"Don't eat anything fatty."
I said,
"What, like bacon and burgers?"
He said,
"No, I mean you, Fatty, don't eat anything!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

"Madam, your husband must have absolute rest."
"Well, Doctor, he won't listen to me."
"A very good beginning, madam, a very good beginning."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes