One-Liner Jokes

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Confucius say:
"Man cannot exchange woman of forty for two twenties…"

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Jokes about Women Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

I had plastic surgery last week. My wife cut up my credit cards

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One-Liner Jokes

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Inertia is a property of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What do you do in case of fallout? Put it back in and take shorter strokes. Submitted by Curtis Edited by Calamjo

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One-Liner Jokes

I want a girl that reminds me of my report card: her face has to be an A, she has to have double DDs, cause tonight I want to F.

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One-Liner Jokes

A man visits his doctor and says, doctor, I keep seeing green Martians before my eyes.
The doctor asks have you seen a psychiatrist?
The patient says,
"No Only green Martians!"

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes One-Liner Jokes

Someone overturned my port-a-роттy! So I pressed litigation, hiring lawyer

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

One blonde was on one side of the river and there was another blonde on the other side of the river. One blonde yells to the other blonde, "How do you get to the other side?" and the other blonde yells back, "You are on the other side!"

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said,
"Two to four years."

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

My friends from New York talk about how tough their schools were. I’m not impressed. I'm from Texas.
My school had it’s own coroner.
We used to write essays like:
“What I want to be IF I grow up...”

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One-Liner Jokes

The teacher asks Jim, "Jimmy, why aren't you writing?"
"I don't has a pencil."
"Jimmy, that's not a correct sentence. The correct way is: I don't have a pencil, he doesn't have a pencil, we don't have a pencil."
"Who stole all the pencils then?"

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One-Liner Jokes

Two guys were walking past an outdoor basketball court.
"You want to play Horse?" asked one guy.
His friend replied, "Sure, I guess... but only if I get to be the front legs."

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One-Liner Jokes

I used to work in an office, and when I worked in an office, I celebrated all the holidays -- Cesar Chavez Day, Labor Day -- just to get a day off of work. It could be ККК Day -- Do I get a day off of work?

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One-Liner Jokes

What's a вееr afficionado's favourite kind of роrn?

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Intersex people are very еrотiс. They have a lot of androgynous zones.

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One-Liner Jokes

When I got home from work E. T. was sitting on my roof. I called around for an answer — my lawyer found that someone had put alien on my property.

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One-Liner Jokes Lawyer Jokes

Husband: Doctor, doctor, every day my wife tries to wash the car?
Doctor: What's wrong with that? Most husbands would love to have their wives wash the car.
Husband: In the bathtub?

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

“A surgeon who does a cut-rate operation is a cheap doctor.”

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Medical and Doctor Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Leave a message or I'll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that.

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One-Liner Jokes