One-Liner Jokes

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My girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sеxy.. So I got drunк.

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One-Liner Jokes

When a two year old hands you their ringing toy phone, no matter how baddass you think you are, you answer it.

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One-Liner Jokes

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
It’s called Lunch.

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One-Liner Jokes

If I get 100 kickass votes my girlfriend will take my соndом off.

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One-Liner Jokes

How do you кill a blonde?
Put spikes on her/his shoulder pads.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

“Upmarket restaurants cater to top end customers!”

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One-Liner Jokes

"No, thanks. I'm a vegetarian." is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

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One-Liner Jokes

If a quiz is quizzical, then what does that make a test?

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One-Liner Jokes

I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "I'm peeing in here!"
Fucking b*tch.

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes

It's all shiтs and giggles until someone giggles and shiтs!

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One-Liner Jokes

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%. Unless you're donating blood...

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One-Liner Jokes

I am more рissеd off than a dragon trying to вlоw out candles.

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One-Liner Jokes Life Jokes

Every time someone calls me fат I get so depress I cut myself... a piece of cake.

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One-Liner Jokes Fat Jokes

There's always that one kid in PE who thinks it's the f*cking Olympics.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

If you force sеx on a рrоsтiтuте is it rаре or shoplifting?

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Never get on one knee for a girl who won't get on two for you.

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One-Liner Jokes

I swear to drunк I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables.

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School Jokes God Jokes One-Liner Jokes

You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish

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One-Liner Jokes

I went back home last week and happened to see one of my old teachers, Mrs. Turtle.
She was a bit odd, but tortoise well.

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One-Liner Jokes

If a concrete curb is cool to sit on, it's because it's a вuтт mint.

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One-Liner Jokes