One-Liner Jokes

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My thoughts today are like underwear. I don't have any clean ones.

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One-Liner Jokes

I'm not saying your sтuрid, i'm just saying that you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

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One-Liner Jokes

My life would be easier if I had a реnis and testicles instead of a vаginа and feelings.

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One-Liner Jokes

If I had a dollar for every time someone tells me to grow up, I could build the coolest tree house ever!

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One-Liner Jokes

If Wal-mart sells belts, why do I see so many вuтт cracks?

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One-Liner Jokes

I don't understand why Wal-mart has a problem with people bringing their dogs in the store. Dogs are better behaved, smell better, and are a lot less likely to take a сrар on the floor than 95% of the people there.

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One-Liner Jokes

How guy's propose: On one knee.
How girl's propose:
"I'm pregnant!"

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One-Liner Jokes

I hope you brought your wallet, because the rent in Неll is paid in advance.

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One-Liner Jokes

I want world peace so bad that I will punch anyone in the face who opposes me.

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One-Liner Jokes

If you're sober, it's a police car... but if you're drunк it's a taxi.

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One-Liner Jokes Police Officer Jokes

The sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie.

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One-Liner Jokes

I am done trying to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes

Buying a smart car seems like a good idea until you hit a squirrel and flip over a few times.

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One-Liner Jokes

I just read an article about the dangers of drinking that scared the сrар out of me. That's it. No more reading!

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One-Liner Jokes

Attention Walmart Shoppers: Dress for the body you have, not the body you want.

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One-Liner Jokes

Alcohol should be served in Capri Sun pouches.
When you can no longer get the straw in the hole, you've had enough.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?

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One-Liner Jokes

Everyone's middle name should be "Motherf*ckin". Try it. Doesn't it sound so great?

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One-Liner Jokes

For anything that I said or did last night, I plead the fifth...
... Of vоdка.

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes One-Liner Jokes

If all the characters from the Mickey Mouse show are talking animals, why is Pluto just a f*ckin' dog?

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Animal Jokes One-Liner Jokes