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Sarcasm Jokes

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The second Fifty shades of grey film is set to be the sexiest film ever, unless you’re Welsh in which case it’s the Shawn the Sheep movie.
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Sarcasm Jokes
I was in a bookshop and really lit up when I saw a book called “Living on £4 a Day”.
The fuскеr cost £12.95.
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Sarcasm Jokes
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
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Sarcasm Jokes
I’ve just bought a Malaysian airlines model plane kit..
When I opened the box and saw all the pieces, I thought “Great, some сunт’s already done it”.
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Sarcasm Jokes
What is the difference between Fosters вееr and a сliтоris?
A сliтоris only tastes like рiss for a second.
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I’m not saying my wife has a loud fаrт..
But she’ll never be hit by a ship.
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Sarcasm Jokes
T he grizzled old sea captain was quizzing a young, tyro naval student. “What steps would you take if a sudden storm came up on the starboard?”
“I’d throw out an anchor, sir.”
“What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”
“I’d throw out another anchor, sir.”
“But what if a third storm sprang up forward?”
“I’d throw out another anchor, captain.”
“Just a minute, son. Where in the world are you getting all these anchors?”
“From the same place you’re getting all your storms, sir.
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Facebook, making people who would’nt talk in the street wish each other Happy Birthday since 2004.
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Facebook Jokes Sarcasm Jokes
Ladies - want that flawless skin look?
Learn how to use Photoshop properly then.
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Sarcasm Jokes
My teacher said, “Are you chewing gum?” …
I said, “Do I look like chewing gum to you?”
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I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
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Sarcasm Jokes
The hotel has a live band and my favourite song is "We're going for a break now, we'll be back later".
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Sarcasm Jokes Hotel Jokes
I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…. he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT HAPPY!!!’
So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which fсuкing one are you?’
And then the fсuкing fight started…..
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Sarcasm Jokes
Himalayan sea salt we just got says it was created 250 million years ago. Label says exp date is 2016. Guess they dug it up just in time!
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Sarcasm Jokes
You’ve found yourself a real trophy wife, I told my pal.
I could see that she was tattooed with all the names of the previous winners.
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Sarcasm Jokes
Football gave me a traumatic brain injury and I was only watching.
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Sarcasm Jokes
A radio station was running a competition - words that weren’t in the dictionary yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The prize was a trip to Bali.
Dj:
“96 FM here, what’s your name?” Caller:
“Hi, my name’s Dave.”
Dj:
“Dave, what’s your word?”
Caller:
“Goan… spelt G-O-A-N pronounced ‘go-an’.”
Dj:
“You are correct, Dave, ‘goan’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller:
“Goan fсuк yourself!”
The DJ cut the caller off and took other calls, all unsuccessful until:
Dj:
“96 FM, what’s your name?”
Caller:
“Hi, me name’s Jeff.”
Dj:
“Jeff, what’s your word?”
Caller:
“Smee, spelt S-M-E-E, pronounced ‘smee’.”
Dj:
“You are correct, Jeff, ‘smee’ is not in the dictionary. Now, for a trip to Bali: What sentence can you use that word in that would make sense?”
Caller:
“Smee again! Goan fсuк yourself!”
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Sarcasm Jokes
I was washing my car just now when my annoying neighbour shouted over to me, “You can clean mine next if you want, Ha ha?”
Hell, it’s bad enough I have to fuск his wife for him.
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Brian and Evan are on a welsh boys night out in Soho and after several drinks Brian loses his mate.
He asks this girl if she knows where Evan is, to which she replies, ‘come with me….. I’ll show you where ‘eaven is’
Brian follows her back to her flat where she strips off, opens her legs and points to her gaping рussy and says, ‘There you go… There’s ‘eaven’
Brian has a good look before shaking his head,confused and says, ‘No… Evan’s a вiggеr c*nt than that’
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If Mayans could predict the future, why didn't they predict their extinction?
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