School Jokes

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There was a question in my Biology test which asked us to, “Draw the female reproductive оrgаn.”
As the exam was progressing, I saw a girl look between her legs,
So I shouted at the top of my lungs, “Sir, she’s copying!”

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Republicans are the true snowflakes… …
…
They’re white, they’re cold, and if you put enough of ’em together they’ll shut down public schools.

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There was 2 friends that go to their high school reunion.
They got there early so they went to the bar to watch a game. eventually, one of the guys gets drunк, so the other guy walks the drunк to the reunion, they sit down. half an hour later, the hosts of the reunion do this little game, where they say something and see who has done that something. the host says:
Host:
' okay now, whos won been on TV?'
The drunк guy's friend says "this guy over here!!!"
The drunк tells him to shut up but the host is already talking.
Host:
'ohh look everybody we have a celebrity!!! c'mon up here!'
So the drunк makes his way up on the stage.
Drunk:
' hi, ever-eeverybody ma names gabriel, and i don-dont wanna say much, i've been dri-nking a bit-'
At that point, the drunк notices two girls at a table and recognizes them.
Drunk:
' i- i see twoo girls at a table,i asked them out to prom of se-senior year. AND D-DEY SED NOO!! and dey got f-fат'
One of the girls gets up and yells at the drunk
Girl:
'Your fат too!!!'
Drunk:
'i was fат in high scho-ool, i kept my figure, why couldnt you???'
#rekt

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A n instructor was sitting in his office one afternoon when an attractive, sеxy-looking lady knocked on his door.
Yes?, he replied, how may I help you? The lady said “I need to talk to you about my grade in your class.”
“Come in and have a seat,” said the instructor.
Is there anything I can do to get an “A” in your class?
“What do you mean by *anything*,” he replied.
She said “Anything!”
Anything??
She said, in her best sultry voice “I mean ANYTHING.”
The instructor got up from behind his desk, sat down beside her and whispered in her ear, “Would you study?”

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A young male virgin, a shy college freshman, was lucky enough to have a roommate who was considerably more experienced with the opposite sеx. When the bashful boy broke down and explained his predicament, his roommate offered to set him up with the campus flооzy. “Just take her out to dinner and a show, and then let nature take its course,” he explained. “This girl really knows how to go from there.” The roommate arranged the date as promised, and the freshman took the coed out for a delightful evening of dining and dancing. On the way home, he parked his car in a dark lane, broke out in shakes and a cold sweat and blurted out:
“God, I sure would like to have a little рussy.”
“I would, too,” the girl sighed. “Mine’s the size of a bucket!”

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The teacher wrote on the blackboard, “I ain’t had no fun all summer.”
“Now Paul,” she said. “What shall I do to correct this?”
“Get a boy friend.” Paul replied.

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A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut.
Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework.
The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad.
Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, “What changed your mind about learning math?”
The son looked at mom and dad and said, “Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher’s desk and I knew they meant business.”

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She's so fат that she ran down the street chasing a yellow school bus thinkg it was the largest twinkey ever.

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My wife was trying to be sеxy last night.
She lay on the bed licking a lollipop then she slowly started to slide it in her fаnny.
“Steady on love” I said “You’re going to need that when you cross the kids over the road for school in the morning

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The Father, passing thru the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy.
Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door.
After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. “Whaddya freakin’ want?”
“Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father.
“Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump his dumb аrsе on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”

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Why don’t the Alabama cheerleaders ever play hide and seek? …
…
Nobody wants to look for them.

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It doesn't matter if school doesn't teach us how to get a job or how to raise a family. At least I know the whole periodic table of elements!

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A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said,
"50 points for putting it back together correctly, and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."

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Teacher:
“why are you always late for school?”
Student:
“ because you always ring the веll before I get here!

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Two Hillbillies meet after an English exam:
Ey' how was the paper?
Oh it was just great, but I forgot the past tense of "THINK". I thought and thought for a long time, finally I just wrote "THUNK"
Ha ha ha, you are very silly, I thought about that for a while but I know the answer is "Thonk"
And what about the past tense of "Write"
Mmmm, I don't remember what i wrote on that one, I think I wrote "Written"
Well, let's hope you are right, I did not bother with the past tense of "GO", I just wrote "GOED" and went to submit my paper.

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Gun control
Barack Obama was at a rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, and asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’
Then, little Richard Earl , with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said:
“Well, dumb-аss, stop clapping!”

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Have you finished your chores?
I had to stay after school and talk to my teacher.
Once again, have you finished your chores?
My teacher said I have selective hearing.
Please don’t change the subject, did you take out the trash like I asked?
Oh, I thought you said Billy had to take it out this week.

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I had just hung up my phone on the train this morning when I got a tap on the shoulder, “Excuse me,” said a teenage girl dressed in her school uniform, “I wonder if you could settle an argument for us? Me and my friend just overheard your phone ringing and I’m pretty sure it was Beyonce, but my friend is adamant it was Rihanna…”
I said, “You’re both wrong, it was my mum.”

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A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

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As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

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