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I’m Tired!
Yes, I’m tired. For several years I’ve been blaming it on getting older, lack of sleep, weekend projects, stale office air, poor nutrition, carrying extra pounds, raising a family, recent colds, and a dozen other reasons that make you wonder why life is getting rough. .
But now I found out what’s really happening! I’m tired because I’m overworked. The population of the USA reached 300 million last October. 79 million of the populations are retired. That leaves 221 million to do the work. There are 19 million toddlers and 76 million students in schools, which leave 126 million to do the work. Of that total, 21 million are unemployed leaving 105 million to do the work.
Then you take away 34 million in hospitals and that leaves 71 million to do the work. 43 million are in prisons and that’s 28 million left to do the work. Now take away 14,683,468 federal, 5,344,722 state and 5,370,743 city workers who run our government and you’re left with 2,601,067 to do the work. Take away the 2,601,065 people in the armed forces and that leaves just two people to do the work - You and Me! And you’re just sitting there reading this!
No wonder I’m tired!!!
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.
I asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven”?
“NO”! the children answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven”?
Again, the answer was, “NO”! By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven”?” I asked them again.
Again, they all answered, “NO”! I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, “then how can I get into Heaven”?
A six-year-old boy shouted out, “YOU GOTTA BE Fuскing DEAD
First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor began the lecture by telling them:
“In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body.”
To illustrate, he pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the аnus of the corpse, withdrew it, and stuck it in his mouth.
“Go ahead and do the same thing,” he told his students.
The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the вuтт of the dead body and suскing on it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said,
“The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and suскеd on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention.”