Science jokes

Most popular in this category

A dog is so smart that his master decides to send him to college.
Home for vacation, his master asks him how college is going.
"Well," says the dog, "I'm not doing too great in science and math, but I have made a lot of progress in foreign languages."
"Really?" says the master. "Say something in a foreign language."
The dog says,
"Meow!"

0 0

Animal Jokes Science jokes Math Jokes

A British company is developing computer сhiрs that store music in women’s вrеаsт implants.
A company spokesperson declares this a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their вrеаsтs without listening to them.

0 0

Jokes about Women Men jokes Science jokes

I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 25 this week.
Actually, it’s turning 38.
It just looks 25.

0 0

Science jokes

“iPad is thin. iPad is beautiful.”
My laptop developed an eating disorder because of that advert.

0 0

Science jokes

The new expensive Apple Watch has health sensors.
Sadly it doesn’t come with common senses for the buyer.

0 0

Science jokes

I was planning to donate my body to science, but then I realised science has plenty of bodies already.
So now I’m donating my brain to religion instead.

0 0

Religion jokes Science jokes

I sometimes think of how much I miss my happy days at school: forcing new pupils’ heads down the toilet and flushing it; ваnging on classroom doors in the science block to get chased by the teachers; having a sneaky fаg round the back of the bike sheds; and, of course, queueing with the rest of the lads to get a вlоw job from Nikki ‘big тiтs’ of the sixth form.
I loved that caretaker’s job.

0 0

School Jokes Science jokes Boob Jokes

Explaining a joke is like dissecting a frog. …
…
You understand it better, but it dies in the process.

0 0

Science jokes

An expert has predicted computers will eventually replace paper altogether.
He has obviously never tried to wipe his аrsе with a laptop!

0 0

Science jokes

I was going to do a joke about time travel…
…but nobody liked it.

0 0

Science jokes

I entered an online review and rated our Solar System. …
I gave it one star.

0 0

Science jokes

Auto correct doesn’t work when I use caps lock.
My phone is like “woah, better let this dude cool down before I tell him he’s wrong”

0 0

Office and Work Jokes Science jokes

Every spring and fall we have a certain day where length of the night is exactly equal to the length of the day. The spring version of this phenomenon is known as the “Venereal Equinox” because you have a 50-50 (equal) chance of getting an STD if you don’t wear a соndом.

0 0

Science jokes

I’m a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium.
He replied, ‘Na’.
Lucky ваsтаrd.

0 0

School Jokes Science jokes

And asks for a drink. …
….
A time traveller walks into a bar.

0 0

Science jokes

Two planets are talking...
Saturn: I bet I get married before you do.
Venus: Why?
Saturn: Because I already have a ring.

0 0

Marriage and Family Jokes Science jokes

Newton’s third law of Emotion. …
…
For every male action, there is a female overreaction.

0 0

Jokes about Women Men jokes Science jokes

My Neighbors little son asked me where you find giant snails?
I tried to blind him with science.
“Well, they’re originally from Kenya, and their Latin name is the Achatina Fulica …”
Turns out the answer was ‘On giant’s fingers’.

0 0

Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes

The good thing about a cell phone is you can be reached wherever you are…. The bad think about a cell phone is you can be reached wherever you are.

0 0

Science jokes

Depth limit for recreational divers - 12 meters
Depth limit for experienced divers - 18 meters
Depth at which nitrogen bubbles develop in your blood - 30 meters
Scuba diving world record - 137 meters
Depth my £14.99 watch will operate up to - 500 meters
Cheers Casio, that’s a relief

0 0

Science jokes