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White women
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grоре all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sеx, but only in the missionary position.
Irish women
First Date: You both get blind drunк and have sеx.
Second Date: You both get blind drunк and have sеx.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunк and have sеx.
Italian women
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mum makes spaghetti and meatballs.
Third Date: You have sеx, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together and hate the thought of having sеx.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
Jewish women
First Date: You get dynamite оrаl sеx.
Second Date: You get more great оrаl sеx.
Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and you never get оrаl sеx again.
Chinese women
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing hapens again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
Indian women
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
Black women
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.
Mexican women
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunк on tequila, and have sеx in the back of her car.
Second Date: She’s pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s boyfriend and his three kids move in … and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
The POINT?
Don’t you just love irish women?
A man was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck.
Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him.
After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep.
After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck.
The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi .
That evening, the man brought Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance.
Pretty soon, the man started to get ‘those feelings’ again..
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Nancy and told her he hadn’t had sеx for months. Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
He said, ‘Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?’