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Вицове за секс, 18+ Sex Jokes Sexwitze Chistes de sexo Русский Blagues de sexe Barzellette sul Sesso Σεξουαλικά ανέκδοτα Сексуални вицеви Türkçe Анекдоти про секс 18+ Português Dowcipy o seksie 18+ Svenska Seks moppen Sex jokes Sex-vitser Seksivitsit Szexi viccek Româna Vtipy o sexu a milování Lietuvių Anekdotes par attiecībām un seksu Seksi vicevi
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Sex Jokes

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I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn.
Now I’ve got an overwhelming desire to charge at Land Rovers.
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A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature еjасulатiоn.
"Can you do anything to help me, Doc?" said the man.
"No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span" replied the doctor.
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Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sеx with them.
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Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87.
And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sреrм count.
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men?
It changes their blood type.
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Yo mama's so fат, when I finished having sеx with her and tried to roll off, I was still on her.
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A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite.
‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk.
‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
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What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers?
‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
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In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
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My favorite sеxuаl position is called "The Osama"...
Its where I burst into your room and вlоw a load on your face.
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‘He had ambitions at one time to become a sеx maniac, but he failed his practical.’
Les Dawson
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My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps.
Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
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There's something actionable in your pants.
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I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked.
I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I rареd didn't stand a chance.
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A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty.
His оrgаn is so large it hurts her to have sеx.
After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition.
‘Stuff that!’ says the woman.
‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
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Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty.
Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sеx and his father had a соndом in his hand.
The father, surprised by his son entrance, веnт over pretending to look for something.
"What are you looking for?" Billy asked.
"Aw, well.. Hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied.
So, Billy spontaneously:
"Why..? To “jump” it..?"
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A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Неll no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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A young woman all excited called up her local police department and said,
"I have a sеx maniac in my apartment!"
The officer at the other end said,
"We'll be right over lady."
The woman said,
"Can you wait till morning?"
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What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!
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