Sports Jokes

Most popular in this category
Hank was not too bright. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money.
Finally, Hank decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself.
So, one day, on the way home from work Hank took his old route home and sure enough there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued. The next afternoon Hank went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened.
"Well," explained Hank, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!"
A man purchased a brand new $350,000.00 Lamborghini sports car. He took it out on the expressway to see just how fast his car would travel. The man accelerated past 100 mph and then an old man on a moped passed him up like he was standing still.
The man in the sports car was amazed at the feat and accelerated so quickly he passed the old man on his moped like he was standing still too. Then as quickly as the man in his sports car passed the old man on his moped, the old man passed him up again just as quickly. The man in the sports car felt so intimidated that he accelerated as fast as he could and passed up the old man on the moped again. The old man on his moped once again passed up the sports car.
Finally the man in his sports car could not believe his eyes, so he got past the old man on the moped and pulled over to the side of the expressway. The old man on the moped pulled over too. The man in the sports car got out and ran over to the old man on the moped and asked,
"How in the world could you get that moped to go nearly as fast as my new $350,000.00 sports car?"
The old man on the moped was huffing and puffing and trying to catch his breath. He looked up and said,
"Mister, I'm so glad you pulled over because for the last 10 minutes my suspenders have been hooked on to the rear of your bumper!"
One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.
Reluctantly, the genie said,
"Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."
So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.
For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.
Finally the genie said,
"This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."