Women - Page 122

Bald Man: Hi ваве, would you like to go for a drink sometime?
Woman: No.. you’re an ugly bald c*nt!!!
Bald Man: I’m not bald, I’m just taller than my hair.

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A woman is dancing happily down the railroad tracks, singing to herself "...21 ...21 ...21..."
After a little while, an Antartian walks up to her. She observes for a minute and then asks, "What are you doing?"
The woman does not answer and keeps singing "...21 ...21 ...21 ..." So the Antartian jumps on the tracks and follows her dancing and starts singing "...21 ...21 ...21 ..." A little later a train comes down the tracks. The woman jumps off, but the Antartian keeps dancing and singing to her self and gets hit by the train.
The woman gets back on the track and starts dancing and singing again, "...22 ...22 ...22 ..."

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Jokes about Women

So Serena and Venus Williams have come out and admitted they are considering sеx changes.
I’m not one to judge, if they want to live as women, let them.

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

A group of 2nd, 3rd and 4th graders, accompanied by 2 female teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about thoroughbred horses and the sporting industry, but mostly to see the horses. When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the gents when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinаl. Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their trousers, and began lifting the little boys up one by one, and held onto their ‘john thomases’ to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn’t help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, ‘You must be in the 4th.’ ‘No, ma’am,’ he replied, ‘I’m in the 7th, riding Silver Arrow, but thanks for the lift.’

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Jokes about Women Sports Jokes School Jokes

Ron was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends were already married while Ron just bounced from one relationship to the next.
Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"
"No," Ron replied. "I meet a lot of nice women, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"
"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find one who's just like your dear ol' Mother?"
Many weeks passed before Ron and his friend crossed paths again.
"So Ron. Did you find the perfect woman yet? One that's just like your Mother?"
Ron shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends."
"Excellent!!! So... Are you and this girl engaged yet?"
"I'm afraid not," Ron replied, "My Father can't stand her!"

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

Wife: How many women have you slept with?
Me: Only you, I was too busy to sleep while shаgging the other women!
Wife: Right, pack your bags I want you out!
Me: That’s fine.
Wife: I hope you have a slow and painful death!
Me: I’m confused, does that mean you want me to stay now?

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non- antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes, offering unwanted advice, and generally making life unbearable for the farmer and his new bride.
While they were walking through the barn, during the forced inspection, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. It was a shock to all no matter their feelings toward her demanding ways…
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood near the casket and greeted folks as they walked by. The pastor noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head yes and say something. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, however, he would shake his head no, and mumble a reply.
Very curious as to this bizarre behavior, the pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about. The farmer replied, “The women would say, ‘What a terrible tragedy and I would nod my head and say ‘Yes, it was.’ The men would ask, ‘Can I borrow that mule?’ and I would shake my head and say, ‘Not right now, it’s all booked up for the next six months.'”

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes

Q. Why do Indian women have a red dot on their forehead?
A. It helps with aiming.

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Jokes about Women Ethnic and Racial Jokes

If a blind woman tells you your реnis is big, she's probably just pulling your leg

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Jokes about Women

A frantic woman had dialed 911.
“Police, fire, or ambulance?” asked the operator.
“I want a vet!” demanded the panic-stricken woman.
“A vet?” said the operator in surprise.
“What for?”
“To open by bulldog’s jaws.”
“But why did you call 911?”
“There’s a burglar in them.”

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Jokes about Women Police Officer Jokes

A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said,
"Depends on what's in it for me."

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes

It's amazing to me that it's the year 2003 and women are still getting 75 cents for every dollar that a man earns. I mean, don't you think it's time women get equal pay? We have got to let women put in extra hours.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Men jokes

I was walking down the street when I heard a skirmish down an ally. A guy was trying to take a woman’s purse. When I saw it was my ex-wife, I said a little prayer for the guy and just kept on walking.

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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes

I like my women the way I like my coffee, hot wet and filled with cream.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Why did Bill Clinton have the affair? He wanted to be with a woman

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Jokes about Women Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes

A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the dаrn tomatoes won’t ripen. There’s a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she’s getting tired of it. So she goes to her neighbor and says,”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?”
Her neighbor replies,”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.”
She says Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it.
Next day her neighbor asks how it worked.
“So so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

Two older women who were rivals in a social circle met at a party.
"My dear," said the first woman "Are those real pearls?"
"They are," replied the second woman.
"Of course the only way I could tell would be for me to bite them," smiled the first woman.
The second responded, "Yes, but for that you would need real teeth."

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Jokes about Women Old People Jokes

If a woman and an Antartian were skydiving which would land first?
The woman because the Antartian would have to stop and ask for directions.

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Jokes about Women

Pros·ti·tute
[pros-ti-toot, -tyoot] (n.)
A woman who doesn’t give a fuск for nothing.

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Jokes about Women

Q. Why is Google like a woman?
A. Because it knows everything.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes