Women - Page 88

Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

A country wife came home just in time to find her husband in bed with another woman. With superhuman strength, borne of fury, and cutting firewood, lifting sacks of feed, and bales of hay, she dragged him down the stairs, out the back door, and into the barn. She put his manhood in a vice, secured it tightly, and removed the handle. Next, she picked up an old carpenter's saw. The banged up cheater was terrified and hollered, "Stop! Stop! You're not gonna cut it off with that rusty saw, are you?" The wife, with a gleam of revenge in her eye, put the saw in her husband's hand and said,
"Nope. You are! I'm gonna burn down the barn!"

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

An old woman is upset at her husband’s funeral. "You have him in a brown suit and I wanted him in a blue suit." The mortician says,
"We’ll take care of it, ma’am," and yells to the back, "Ed, switch the heads on two and four!"

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Jokes about Women

Which оrgаn in the female body remains warm after death? My соск.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

A mother tells her little boy, "Johnny, you mustn't eat too many lollies or I'll hide the lolly jar." Johnny asks, "Why?" His mother says,
"Because something bad will happen! Your tummy will вlоw up big like a balloon and then pop!" The next day at church, the boy is sitting next to a pregnant woman. He points to her belly smiling and says,
"I know what you've been doing!"

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Jokes about Women

A blonde woman won horse riding lessons. Knowing nothing about riding but wanting to be properly dressed, she went out and bought riding boots. On the day of the first lesson, she showed up wearing only the riding boots. When asked why she was nакеd except for the boots, she said that she was told it was ваrеваск riding and she didn't have any clothes that just covered the front.

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

There were three women. a brown headed a brunette and a blonde. they were talking then they started talking about sеx. The brown headed one said i'm gonna have 3 baby's. The brunette said she was gonna have twins. And the blonde started crying and the other two women asked her what was wrong. And the blonde said she was gonna have baby dogs because she had sеx doggy style!

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A police officer sees a blonde woman crying under a street lamp on the sidewalk. He asks her what's wrong and if there's anything he can do to help. The blonde replies,
"I lost my wedding ring." The officer asks, "Okay, where did you drop it?" The blonde says,
"About a block away, but the light is better here."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Why do woman have two sets of lips? One set to tell you off with, and the other to make you forget you're mad!

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes

An old woman walks into a butcher shop and asks for a New Mexico duck. The butcher grabs the nearest duck and hands it to the old lady. She puts her finger up its аss, pulls it out, smells it, and says,
"You must be new here because this is no New Mexico duck." The butcher replies,
"Yep, I am new here." The old lady comes back with, "Well, where are you from?" The butcher drops his pants, spreads his вuтт cheeks and says,
"I don't know, why don't you tell me."

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes

A woman answered the doorbell with a man standing on her porch. The man said,
"I'm terribly sorry. I just ran over your cat and I would like to replace it for you." The woman replied, "Well that's alright with me, but how are you at catching mice?"

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Jokes about Women Animal Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

God is a woman. I know this because if God was a man, He would have created the whole population female, and only one man. Then, He would have invited that male to the top of the mountain to look down at all the beautiful females. Then God would have gotten jealous and killed him.

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Jokes about Women God Jokes Men jokes Sexist Jokes

Women are like shed roofs, if you don't nail them hard enough they'll end up next door.

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Jokes about Women One-Liner Jokes

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 29? Because 30 is too many!

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Jokes about Women Religion jokes Kids Jokes

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

The five most important qualities in a woman: one who is independent and helps around the house, one who can make you laugh, one who you can trust, one who is good in bed, and most importantly, one who should make sure these four women never meet.

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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes

A man and woman are sitting on their porch drinking a вееr. The man says,
"I love you." The woman says,
"Is that you talking or the вееr talking?" The man says,
"That's me talking to the вееr!"

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes

Man- What would you do if I won the lottery?
Woman- Take half and leave!
Man- Well, I won 20 bucks, here's 10, now get out!

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Jokes about Women Men jokes Relationship Jokes