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Three women are seated in the doctor’s office waiting room one day.
The doctor calls the first one in. When he examines her, he sees a big “Y” on her chest. He asks, “Why do you have a big “Y” on your chest?”
She replies, “That’s from my boyfriend’s sweater. You see, my boyfriend went to Yale, and when we make love he likes to wear his Yale sweater.”
“I see,” the doctor says. He completes her examination and then calls in the next woman. When he examines her, he sees a big “H” on her chest.
Again, the doctor inquires about the letter. “How did you get a big “H” on your chest?” he asks.
The woman replies, “That’s from my husband’s sweater. He went to Harvard, and when we make love he likes to wear his Harvard sweater.”
The doctor nods his head and completes her examination. He then calls in the last woman. She also has a letter on her chest, a big “M.”
“Don’t tell me,” he says. “Your boyfriend went to Michigan!”
“No,” she says. “My girlfriend went to Wisconsin.”
Old Granny Parkinson had won over half a million dollars in the lottery, but as she was a frail little woman her family was concerned that the shock of hearing the news might prove too much for her. Accordingly, they called in the family doctor to ask his advice.
“I’ll tell her if you like,” said the doctor. “I’ll lead up to it gradually.” The family accepted his offer gratefully, and showed him into the old lady’s bedroom. The doctor pretended to give her a routine examination and then began to chat generally of this and that, carefully leading the conversation ‘round to money. “Tell me Mrs. Parkinson,” he said, “what would you do if you suddenly came into half a million dollars?”
“Half a million?” said the old lady reflectively, “well you’ve always been very good to me, doctor, so I think I’d give half of it to you.”
And the doctor immediately collapsed and died of shock.