Office and Work Jokes

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It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little Antartian got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation.
She finally remembered her daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard; she should wait for a snowplow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in a snowdrift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snowplow went by and she started to follow it. As she follows the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions.
After quite sometime had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snowplow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her daddy's advice to follow a snowplow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was OK with him and she could continue if she wanted but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to K-Mart next.
Office and Work Jokes
Sven and Lars worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the Minneapolis unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Sven answered, “Раnтy Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies’ cotton раnтiеs.” …
….
The clerk looked up Раnтy Stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. Then Lars was asked his occupation. “Diesel Fitter,” he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Lars $600 a week.
When Sven found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and coworker was collecting double his pay. The clerk explained, “Раnтy stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”
“WHAT skill?” yelled Sven. “I sew da elastic on da раnтiеs, Lars puts dem over his head and says: “Yeah, diesel fitter.”
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A bloke working on the buses taking fares pushes one of his passengers off the bus and kills him. At the trial he is found guilty of мurdеr and is sentenced to the electric chair.
As a last meal he asks for a bunch of green bananas, which he duly eats.
They sit him down, plug him in a send a million volts through him. When the smoke clears he is sitting there, right as rain. Checking through the statutes the governor finds he has no choice but to release him.
The chap goes back to his job on the buses and lo and behold allows another passenger to fall to his death. Once again he is found guilty and sentenced to death.
At the prison he, again, asks for a bunch of green bananas, which he duly receives and scoffs down. In the chair again and this time he is zapped with 2 million volts. Smoke clears and вuggеr me there he sits, right as rain.
As before he goes back to his old job. Through a combination of stupidity and sheer malice he, yet again, allows another passenger to fall to their death (under a train at that, it was quite nasty really!) The judge has no choice but to find him guilty and off he goes to the chair.
As you may have guessed he asks for his bunch of green bananas (getting predictable now) Eats them, gets strapped in, 3 million volts and yep, he’s right as rain.
The executioner, who is really рissеd off by now, approaches him and asks what the secret is, is it (as he suspects) the green bananas that save his life. “No” replies the prisoner “I’m just a bad conductor!”
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