Political Joke

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Two convicts were sitting on their cot in a jail cell. One says to the other, "I hear you’re getting out in a few days. Tell me something are you going straight, or are you going back into politics?"

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Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

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When interviewers asked USA presidential candidate Gary (“Aleppo”) Johnson to find Syria on a map, he showed them a piece of sandpaper.

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Trump has announced that he has all the necessary materials to build the wall along the Mexican border.
When he won the election 60 million Democrats shiт a brick

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The General Services Administration has experts who actually visit different agencies and suggest ways to streamline their day-to-day routines.
One such expert visited the Federal Communications Commission and suggested that they get rid of the clutter. He suggested, as a start, that they throw out all correspondence over ten years old.
The FCC director loved the idea and replied, "Good thought. But first, we'll have to make three copies of everything."

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I love the game, "Survivor". They start out with 20 contestants who are systematically knocked out of the game until there are only three left. The winner is the one who lies and backstabs the most people. You know, like politics.

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Twenty-six years after the Chernobyl disaster, and am I the only one that’s disappointed? Still no superheroes.

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How come when a white person runs someone over it’s called a ‘traffic incident’ but when a Muslim does it they call it a ‘terrorist incident’?

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At a seminar on American Social Justice, a Civil Rights leader opined, "Anti-Americans are killing the better Americans - the likes of Osama-bin-Laden, Bernie Madoff, John Gotti, to name a few - surprising and confusing most Americans."
He further pointed out, "More surprising is the fact that Mob Wives are popular celebrities today."

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Feel sorry for Americans having to choose between those two.
I’ve not trusted a Clinton since they charged me £7.50 for a birthday card, and I’ve not trusted a Trump since that curry last weekend!

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So, Donald Trump has chosen Mickey Pence as his vice-president….
…. Not even Walt Disney could’ve imagined that one day Mickey and Donald would be running America!!

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Just seen Simon Cowell drowning in my local swimming pool so I saved him ……….. as my profile picture on facebook.

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In light of the new presidential election I think it’s time for another American Pie spin off.
Harold and Kumar get deported.

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Im a great believer in gun control. That’s why I always smoke a couple of cigarettes before I go out shooting because it helps keeps my hands steady.

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Cheer Up Hillary Clinton.
Nelson Mandela wasn’t elected president, until after serving 27 years in prison.

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Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.

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What’s the difference between a refugee and E. T?
E. T. learnt English and wanted to go home!

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Obama approval hits 60%,most of that approval is that he is finally GONE.

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