Political Joke

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If pro is the opposite of соn, what's the opposite of progress?
Congress!

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So quiet at the Clinton camp you could hear Bill’s pants drop!

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I’m thinking Bill should buy Hillary some crotchless underwear. Nothing sεxual, just a way to give her a better grip on her broomstick.

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The world is a funny place. We used to have Empires run by Emperors, then Kingdoms run by Kings, now we have Countries…

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Why is a North Korean joke the best type of joke? ….
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Because everyone gets it.

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If George Washington was the father of our country, does that make his father the grandfather of our country?

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Cannibal Restaurant
A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant opened by a fellow cannibal.
Feeling somewhat hungry he sat down and looked over the menu…
Broiled Missionary: $10.00
Fried Explorer: $15.00
Baked Politician: $100.00.
The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, “Why such a price difference for the politician?”
The cook replied, “Have you ever tried to clean one of them?”

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George Washington was such a great president.
He never blamed any of the country's problems on the previous administration.

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Who is the opposite of a Supreme Court Justice?
Antonym Scalia

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How do you get a Democrat to pay taxes?
Give them "Change" and "Hope"

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A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation and found that the curtains were drawn around him.
"Why are the curtains closed," he said. "Is it night?"
A nurse replied, "No, it's just that there's a fire at the empty warehouse across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful."

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The Prime Minister has recently announced a new initiative to boost our economy. Apparently the Ethiopians are going to be organizing a rock concert for us.

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Donald Trump will kick Her Ruмр!

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I have diet Coke and Mentos in my house…In other words, my Nuclear Weapons Program is ten years ahead of North Korea.

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If good things come to those who wait then is being put into prison really a punishment?

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Does this sound like someone you elected??
“I wasn’t lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth.”

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Now that we are into renaming things like Mount Diablo, President Obama wants to rename the San Andreas Fault. His suggestion, Bush's Fault.

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Two philosophers were sitting at a restaurant, discussing whether or not there was a difference between misfortune and disaster.
“There is most certainly a difference,” said one. “If the cook suddenly died and we couldn’t have our dinner that would be a misfortune __ but certainly not a disaster. On the other hand, if a cruise ship carrying the Congress was to sink in the middle of the ocean, that would be a disaster __ but by no stretch of the imagination would it be a misfortune

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