Newest jokes

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said,
“My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said,
“That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said,
“My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said,
“Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said,
“My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.

8 year old kid looking at mom's ID card, Sex: F - he laughts.

- What's so funny?
- I can'y believe you are so bad in sex that you failed in it.

Husband died laughing

No english dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words, COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Some people say there is no difference, but there is:
When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE!
When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED!
And if you marry a wife who likes shopping you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!