Newest jokes

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals.

I am vegetarian because I hate plants

Every time the 'L' in my "Luck"

has been replaced with an 'F'

How can you face your problem,

if your problem is your face?!

The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said,
“My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said,
“That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said,
“My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said,
“Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said,
“My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried.

8 year old kid looking at mom's ID card, Sex: F - he laughts.

- What's so funny?
- I can'y believe you are so bad in sex that you failed in it.

Husband died laughing