Animal Jokes - Page 108

The early bird might get the worm…
But the second mouse gets the cheese.

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Animal Jokes

I named my dog 5-Miles so now I tell people I walk 5-Miles everyday

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Animal Jokes

Where did the cat go when it lost it’s tail? – To the retail store!

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Animal Jokes

Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says,
"Do you know how to drive this thing?"

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Animal Jokes

What do you get when you mix a cheetah and a hamburger?
Fastfood!

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Animal Jokes

Why do Koalas get all the good jobs?
Because they have all the right koalafications

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Animal Jokes

Chopping up onions is bringing a tear to my eye...
He was a lovely little dog.

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Animal Jokes

Fuск fuск fuск a duck sсrеw a kangaroo 69 a porcuipine have an оrgy at the zoo

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Animal Jokes

Theres only one thing better than the cutest cat in the world.
A Dog.

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Animal Jokes

Oh, You're 10? Ok, well here's an animal that can breath fire.
- Prof Oak.

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Animal Jokes

You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop off, and on your left side is an elephant traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse but your horse is unable to overtake it. Behind you is a lion running at the same speed as you and the horse in front of you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get your drunк аss off the merry-go-round!

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Animal Jokes

Teacher:
"Name a bird with wings but can't fly."
Student:
"A dead bird, sir."

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said,
"Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo." The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman. The policeman said,
"Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!" The boy answered, "I did! Today I'm taking him to the cinema."

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Money jokes Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Teacher:
"I asked you to draw a соw and grass, but I only see a соw. Where is grass?"
Student:
"The соw ate the grass, sir."

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School Jokes Animal Jokes

An elephant and a camel are talking. The elephant asks, "Why do you have воовs on your back?" The camel replies,
"Ha! That's a funny question coming from an animal with a реnis hanging from his face."

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Animal Jokes

How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?
Put up a Bingo sign.

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Insult Jokes Animal Jokes

A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fuскs all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster fuскing the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You hоrny ваsтаrd, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"

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Animal Jokes Sex Jokes

A 92 year old man is walking through a park and sees a talking frog. He picks up the frog and the frogs says, “If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess and be yours for a week.” The old man puts the frog in his pocket. The frog screams, “Hey if you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess and make love to you for a whole month.” The old man looks at the frog and says, “At my age I’d rather have a talking frog.”

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

It’s a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks. Father Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars. Mother Bear sticks her head out the kitchen door and yells, "For Pete's sake, how many times do we have to go through this? It was Mother Bear who go up first. It was Mother Bear who woke everybody else in the house up. It was Mother Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mother Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Mother Bear who set the table. It was Mother Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's water and food dish. And now that you've decided to come down stairs and grace me with your presence, listen good because I'm only going to say this one more time: I haven't made the f*cking porridge yet!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says,
"No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says,
"No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says,
"No, I don't have any nails." The duck says,
"Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"

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Animal Jokes