Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Why did the dinosaur have so few friends?
Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!

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Animal Jokes Friendship Jokes

Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his diск.
One man said,
"I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?
10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

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Animal Jokes

What does a turtle and a реdорhilе have in common? – They both want to get there before the hare does.

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Animal Jokes

Why do moths fly with their legs open?
Cause they've got huge mothballs!

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Animal Jokes

A tourist was drowning in the sea:
Help! Help! He screams.
Very calm the fisherman says:
Press F1 already and stop screaming.
You’re scaring the fishes away.

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Fishing Jokes Animal Jokes Computer Jokes

Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to кill a соw and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."

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Food Jokes Animal Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop.
They hide in potato sacks.
The officer kicks each bag.... When he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow.... When he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff... When he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Yo mama so sтuрid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.

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Animal Jokes Christmas Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Stupid Jokes

Make the world your playground.
Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up.
Dragging a sock over it helps.
If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.
When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.
Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.
Nap often.
When in trouble, just purr and look cute.
Life is hard, and then you nap.
Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
Variety is the spice of life.
One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy.
Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.
Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.
Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".

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Animal Jokes

Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.

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Animal Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla?
An animal that puts you out at night.

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Animal Jokes

Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.

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Animal Jokes

A family walks into a talent agency.
It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog.
The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act.
You should represent us."
The agent says,
"Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."
The mother says,
"Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."
The agent says,
"OK. OK. I'll take a look."

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Gross Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Dad Jokes

How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.

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Animal Jokes

What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny?
A Cold dog on a bun.

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Animal Jokes

A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.

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Animal Jokes Men jokes

A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit.
She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?"
A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?"
The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"

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Blonde Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes Sick and Death Jokes Stupid Jokes

A Yankee walks into a bar in Alabama and orders a cosmopolitan. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You're not from 'round here are ya?"
"No" replies the man, "I'm from New Hampshire." The bartender looks at him and says, "Well what do you do in New Hampshire?"
"I'm a taxidermist," says the man. The bartender looks bewildered, so the man explains, "I mount dead animals."
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's OK, boys! He's one of us!"

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Bar and Bartender Jokes Sports Jokes Animal Jokes Men jokes

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police.
The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man.
"Is there a fат bird in my car?"

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Drinking and Drunk Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Police Officer Jokes Fat Jokes