Attitude Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I'm not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone.

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Attitude Jokes

Feeling pretty proud of myself. The Sesame Street puzzle I bought said 3-5 years, but I finished it in 18 months.

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Attitude Jokes

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

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Attitude Jokes

Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever's bugging you.

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Attitude Jokes

I like to hold hands at the movies... which always seems to startle strangers.

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Attitude Jokes

Remember: You can eat your way out of almost any problem.

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Attitude Jokes

You're the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.

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Attitude Jokes

You must be a full moon, coz everytime you are around me, I turn into a beast.

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Attitude Jokes

Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. *Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.*

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Facebook Jokes Attitude Jokes

Do you like the internet? Cause I can put you on there if you come back to my place.

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Attitude Jokes Internet Jokes

For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake.

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Attitude Jokes

I've put something aside for a rainy day. It's an umbrella.

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Attitude Jokes

They say people couldn't have everything because they don't have enough space to put it, I say 'everything' includes a bag with infinite space so I can put everything in easily.

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Attitude Jokes

If you were a pole I would dance all over you.

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Attitude Jokes

How is it that I always seem to buy the plants without the will to live?

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Attitude Jokes

My drinking team has a bowling problem.

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Attitude Jokes

If you're going through Неll, keep going.

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Attitude Jokes

Coldplay is like depression you can hear.

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Attitude Jokes

Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I've been doing nothing for years.

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One-Liner Jokes Attitude Jokes

I eat the broken cookies first because I feel bad for them.

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Attitude Jokes