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Bill Clinton Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?
You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
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Political Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Dirty jokes Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? – America.
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Donald Trump Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Apparently Monica Lewinsky didn’t vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
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US Election Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Happy Presidents' Day!

Future historians will be able to study at:
the John F. Kennedy Presidential Library,
the Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Library,
the Richard M. Nixon Presidential Library,
the Gerald Ford Presidential Library,
the James Earl Carter Presidential Library,
the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library,
...and the Bill Clinton Adult Book Store!
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
CLINTON SOUP

One of the Nations largest Soup Manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking Americas shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, "Clinton Soup", that will honor one the nations most distinguished men.

It consists primarily of a small wееniе in hot water.
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
What does Ted Kennedy have that Clinton wishes he had?
A dead girlfriend!!
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Clinton asked Monica if she'd like to see the Presidential clock. She of course replied yes. He unzipped and pulled it out and she said, but that's not a clock. He said,
"but it will be when you put two hands and a face on it."
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
What is the difference between Bill and his dog Buddy?
Buddy can liск his own diск.
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Bill Clinton Jokes Dog jokes
Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
Because Janet Reno is her Dad.
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Q: What does Monica's mouth and a coke machine have in common?
A: Insert Bill here!
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Bill Clinton Jokes
What's the similarity between Bill Clinton and a carpenter? One sсrеw in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Защо Хилари Клинтън става в пет сутринта? - Miksi Hillary Clinton herättää miehensä joka yö heti puolen yön jälkeen ja vaatii häneltä seksiä? - Hän haluaa olla päivän ensimmäinen nainen.
Why does hillary insist on making love early in the morning with bill?
She wants to be the first lady.
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Bill Clinton Jokes
Monica Lewinsky was walking on the beach when she found a lantern washed up on the shore. She started to rub it and out popped a genie.
"Oh goodie, now I will get three wishes!" she exclaimed.
"No," said the genie, "You have been very bad this year, and because of this, I can only give you one wish."
"Let's see," says Monica, "I don't need fame, because I have plenty of that due to all of the media coverage. And I don't need money, because after I write my book, and do all my interviews, I'll have all the money I could ever want. I would like to get rid of these love handles, though. Yes, that's it, for my one wish, I would like my love handles removed."
Poof! And just like that .... her ears were gone.
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Bill Clinton Jokes
A Genie Can Almost Do Anything Bill Gates is at the beach when he discovers a bottle, he opens it and a Genie appears. Il Presidente del Consiglio camminando lungo la spiaggia inciampa sulla lampada e fa uscire un Genio. Questi gli dice che per ricompensa è disposto ad esaudire un suo desiderio. Il Presidente senza esitare dice: "Voglio la pace nel Medio Oriente. Vedi questa mappa? Voglio che questi paesi... A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans. Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish. He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World. The... A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but... Una mujer está caminando en la playa y de pronto se encuentra una vieja lámpara. La recoge, la frota y ¡Paff! aparece un genio. La asombrada mujer le pregunta si le puede dar los clásicos tres... Un árabe caminaba por el desierto, cuando encontró una lámpara. Al abrirla ? sorpresa!, Apareció un genio: - Hola! Soy un genio de un solo deseo, a tus ordenes. - Entonces, quiero la paz en Oriente... Un árabe consigue una lámpara, la frota, el genio sale y le dice: - Solo te puedo conceder un deseo. El árabe le muestra un mapa y le pide paz para el Medio Oriente. El genio le dice que eso es... Era un musulmán que consiguió una lámpara mágica, de la que salió un genio al frotar y le concedió únicamente 1 deseo. - Quiero paz en Oriente Medio -Eso no es posible, tras 7000 años de guerras... Une femme se promène sur une plage et bute sur une vieille lampe. Elle se penche pour la prendre, la frotte et paf, un génie apparaît. La femme, étonnée, lui demande alors si elle pourra faire les... Un uomo sta passeggiando in un bosco alla ricerca di funghi, quando si imbatte nella più perfetta e antica lampada ad olio; inizia subito astrofinarla e appare il Genio: - Posso avere i miei tre... Kadının biri Maldivlerde bir kumsalda yürürken ayağı eski bir lambaya takılmış, kadın lambayı kumların içinden çıkarmış ve lambayı ovalamış.  Lambadan cin çıkmış. Kadın hemen: - "Üç hakkım var...
Clinton finds a bottle, opens it and a genie pops out and grants him one wish. Clinton wishes for peace in the Middle East. The genie says there are some things even a genie can't do and tells Clinton to make another wish. Clinton says he wishes that the whole Monica thing would go away. The genie says he'll take a second look at the map of the Middle East.
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One.
Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy."
Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy".
Hillary tosses her perfectly hair-sprayed, bleached blonde hair and says, "Of course, then, I could throw one-hundred $1.00 bills out the window and make a hundred people very happy."
Chelsea rolls her eyes, looks at all of them and says, "I could throw all of you out the window and make the whole country happy".
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Bill Clinton Jokes Blonde Jokes American Presidents Humor
Letter to John Hinckley

Mr. John Hinkley
St. Elizabeth Hospital
Washington, D.C.

Dear John,

Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is held against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,

Bill Clinton
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
They didn't find any stains on that dress,,, just a wаd of bills.
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Bill Clinton Jokes
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb and Don Juan were having a terrible disagreement.
"I am the most beautiful person in the world." proclaimed Sleeping Beauty.
"No, you're not." answered Don Juan and TomThumb.
"I am the smallest person in the world." shouted Tom Thumb.
"No, you're not." said Sleeping Beauty and Don Juan.
"I've had more lovers than any one in the world." announced Don Juan.
"No, you haven't." replied Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty.
Well, they decided that if the three were to get along, they needed a mediator, and decided that Merlin, clearly the smartest person in the world, would be ideal. Merlin agreed to mediate, and summoned them all to his palace, where he announced he would meet with them one at a time.
Sleeping Beauty went in first and not a minute later came out beaming. "I AM the most beautiful person in the world, Merlin said so."
In went Tom Thumb and out he came as quickly as had Sleeping Beauty. "Merlin agreed that I AM the smallest person in the world."
In goes Don Juan and in he stays, a half hour, an hour, an hour and a half later. Finally, he emerges distraught, scratching his head and muttering "Who the hеll is Bill Clinton?
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House.
Hillary wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill stays sleeping. Hillary continues, "Bill, Bill wake up."
Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?" Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom."
To which Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom."
Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
President Clinton and Hillary are at a baseball game.
They are sitting up in the V.I.P section. Before the game begins,
The umpire yells something up to Mr. Clinton. Clinton then proceeds
to lift Hillary out of her seat, and throw her over the railing and onto
the field.

The umpire shouts,
"No Mr. President I said 'Throw out the FIRST PITCH.
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Bill Clinton Jokes American Presidents Humor
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