Blonde Jokes - Page 53

Mother talking to her blonde daughter:
At the age of ten:
Honey, you are too young to play with big boys!
At the age of thirty:
You are too big to play with young boys, honey!

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Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our four engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "Our number two engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "Our number three engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.
A young blonde passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "I hope that fourth engine keeps working, or we'll be up here all day!"

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde was headed to Detroit.
She got on the plane and sat down in first class.
A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat.
She refused.
The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class."
The flight attendent was getting frustrated.
Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move.
Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?"
The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked,
"Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes Phone jokes

What does a blonde use for protection during sеx?
A bus shelter.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A blonde and a redhead have a ranch. They have just lost their bull. The women need to buy another, but only have $500.
The redhead tells the blonde, "I will go to the market and see if I can find one for under that amount. If I can, I will send you a telegram."
She goes to the market and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word "comfortable." Skeptical, the operator asks, "How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?" The redhead replies, "She's a blonde so she reads slow: 'Come for ta bull.'"

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Blonde Jokes Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Animal Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
I wonder if it's mine.

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
"Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”

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Blonde Jokes Money jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

She is so blonde, when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went back home.

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Car and driving jokes Blonde Jokes Aviation Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and Windows 95?
The blonde operates on more laptops!

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Technology Jokes Blonde Jokes

What do blondes and the Bermuda Triangle have in common?
They both swallow semen

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She fell in the sink.

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Men vs Women Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q: What does XXX stand for in a роrnо film?
A: It's the signature of the three blondes who "act" in it.

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Insult Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde, brunette and redhead are in a desert. The brunette says, "I brought some water so we don't get dehydrated."
The redhead says, "I brought some suntan lotion so we don't get sunburned."
Then the blonde says I brought a car door."
The other girls said, "Why did you bring that?"
Then the blonde says, "So I can roll down the window if it gets hot."

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Blonde Jokes

Why do blondes like sunroofs?
More legroom!

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Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it....
Cop :
"Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly?"
Blonde :
"Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."
Cop :
"Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you're on!"
Blonde :
"Oh! Sтuрid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on." At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop :
"Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something awful."
Blonde :
"Oh... We just got off of highway 119".

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Blonde Jokes Office and Work Jokes Car and driving jokes Police Officer Jokes Friendship Jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who thought Doris Day was a national holiday?

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Nationality Jokes Blonde Jokes

In an aeroplane flying to Melbourne a blonde girl leaves her seat and goes to the business class.
The stewardess, who’ s watching her, gently asks her to see her ticket and tells her that she has to go back to her seat.
But the blonde girl replies “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”.
The stewardess goes to the cockpit and explains the copilot what happened.
So he comes out of the cockpit and tries to explain to the blonde girl that she had to go back to her seat.
And again the blonde girl says “I am young, beautiful, I travel to Melbourne and I’m staying here”.
The copilot, confused, returns to the cockpit and explains the situation to the aircraft commander.
“Don’t worry”, he says, “My wife is a blonde… I can hanlde it!”.
So the commander, goes out, spots the blonde and whispers something in her ear.
Suddenley, she stands up and says “Oh sorry mister…I didn’ t know…!” and runs back to her seat.
“What the hеll did you tell her?” asks the copilot who was watching the scene.
“I told her that people in the business class are not flying to Belbourne”

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Aviation Jokes Blonde Jokes Business jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes Pilot Jokes

Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just вlоw dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

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Aviation Jokes Blonde Jokes

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated."
What does it look like?" she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."
The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman.
"Here it is," she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go.
I didn't realize you were a cop."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Sports Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes Car and driving jokes