Blonde Jokes - Page 85

A man is walking in London, when it suddenly starts raining so he takes shelter in a peek-a-boo sеx shop and pays $50 to get in. He’s then confronted by 3 doors.
They read “Blonde”, “Brunette” and “Black”. He chooses “Blonde”, only to be confronted by 3 more doors reading “Small Тiтs”, “Medium Тiтs” or “Big Тiтs”.
This time he chooses “Big Тiтs” only to be again confronted with 3 more doors reading “Small Сunт”, “Large Сunт”, “Wet Сunт”.
Somewhat excited now, he chooses “Wet Сunт”, pushes his way through the door, and finds himself back out in the rain.

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A blonde cop stops a blonde motorist and asks for her driver’s license.
The motorist digs around in her purse but can’t find it. She says to the cop, “I must have left it at home, officer.”
The cop says, “Well, do you have any kind of identification?”
The motorist searches her purse again and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, “All I have is this picture of myself.”
The cop says, “Let me see.” So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, “O Fсuк!!!, if I’d known you were a police officer, I wouldn’t have pulled you over.”

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes Police Officer Jokes

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
Her ankles.
What do you say to a Blonde that won’t give in?
“Have another вееr.”
What do Blondes say after sеx?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle?
Shine a flashlight in their ear.

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A blonde orders a вееr.
The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar.
It hits the blonde woman’s воовs and splashes all over them…
The bartender goes over, retrieves the mug and licks the вееr off her воовs.
Each time the blonde calls for another вееr this happens.
So after the third вееr, a guy decides to help the bartender out.
The next time the bartender hit her воовs, the man
Jumps up and starts to liск her вrеаsтs and she decks him!
He is lying on the floor moaning, “Jeez lady… Why do you let the bartender do it?”
“Helloooo!”, says the blonde, “He has a licker license!”

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

How do you keep a blonde bizy?
Tell them to put skittles in alphabetical order.

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Blonde Jokes

A blond and a brunette were walking past a flower shop. The brunette looked inside and said,
"Oh shiт! He's in there!"
"Who's in there?", the blond asked. "My boyfriend.", came the reply. "Well, what's he doing?" the blond inquired. "He's buying flowers." answered the brunette. "What's the matter with you, ... Don't you like to get flowers?"
"Of course I do, but therein lies the problem."
"What problem?" the blond asked innocently. "For the next three days, I'll be laying on my back, with my feet in the air!" the brunette explained. After the blond thought about what her friend had just said, she offered, "What's the matter, don't you have a vase?"

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

My missus has just pointed at the TV, jumped up and down and screamed “OHMYGOD! THEY HAVE THE SAME CHAIR AS ME!”
Didn’t have the heart to tell her the TV was off and it was just her reflection.

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Blonde Jokes

Anna and blonde are walking home from a night at the bar and have to рее, so they stop at a cemetery. With nothing to wipe with Anna uses her раnтiеs and the blonde uses a nearby wreath.
The next day anna's boyfriend calls his friend, "They are never going out again! Anna came home without раnтiеs!"
The other replies,
"You think that's bad? My girlfriend came with a card in her сrаск that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we will never forget you!'"

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Blonde Jokes Friendship Jokes

Blonde girl goes and signs up at a gym to work out, as she's walking around to see where she wants to start a trainer walks up to her and tells her if this is your first time working out i have to tell you that for the 1st week your body will feel very sore. The girls says, well thanx for the tip ill just go home and start next week then

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

A stunning blonde, in breath taking extremely tight jeans is walking down the street.
A guy, looking at her with his tongue on his shoes, asks her: ‘I’m very sorry, but I just need to know… How does one ever get in those pants?
‘Well’, she said, ‘you could start with offering me a drink…’

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Blonde Jokes

What do you call 144 blondes?
Gross ignorance.

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Gross Jokes Blonde Jokes One-Liner Jokes

Two sailors got off their battleship after seven months at sea. As soon as they walked on solid ground they saw a lady walking away from them about fifty yards ahead.
Her long blonde hair caused one sailor to muster the courage to say "hello". As she turned around they could see she was at least eight months pregnant!
The wide-eyed sailor quickly apologized, "Sorry Ma'am, we thought you were alone."

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Blonde Jokes Military Jokes

A twice married and divorced well-to-do business man named Ralph felt he finally found his soul mate in a woman half his age. Betty, his new wife, was pretty, dirтy blond hair, and not all that bright, but Ralph didn't care. He would do anything to make her happy, and on Betty's birthday he called her out to the front yard.
"Happy Birthday!" he shouted as he proudly showed off Betty's gift, an immaculate 1957 Chevrolet Bel-Air 2 door hard top classic car.
"Wow!" Betty exclaimed. "That's a really ancient looking car. It must be more than 20 years old!"
"Try 50! Honeybunch, I have a business trip to go on. This car will make you a ton of money. There's a bunch of events coming up in Johnson County and when I get back, I bet you're gonna make me a happy man when I find out how well you did."
Ralph left on his trip, and upon his return, as he was driving up the block to his house, he noticed a tow truck in his driveway. Pulling up he saw his dear old classic car on the truck bed, smashed to smithereens. Running into the house, he yelled for Betty.
"What in the world happened to your car?"
"I won first prize, $1000, that's what happened," Betty replied.
"First prize, where?" Ralph asked astonishingly.
"At the Johnson County Demolition Derby!"

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Jokes about Women Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Bob the builder was short on workers so he had to hire a blonde,he said you only need to do some hammering. a few hours later bob returns to see the entire work crew (blonde included) рiss drunк he asks who is responsible for this. blonde says me but she also says why are you mad? I only did what you asked.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

Anant went to his friend's house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night.
His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said,
"You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby."
Anant said that he would prefer the floor. The next morning he went to the bathroom, and there he met a gorgeous young blonde. "Hi," he said,
"Who are you?"
"I'm Baby, and who are you?"
"I'm sтuрid," he said.

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Blonde Jokes Dirty jokes Friendship Jokes

A blonde and brunette and a red head are stuck out in the middle of a desert with no city or town in site. The Brunette says "Well, I guess I will try and find up some food and water" The Red Head says "I guess I will build a shelter for us to live in for a bit. Then the Blonde says "I will take the car doors off so we can role down the windows when it gets hot"

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Food Jokes Blonde Jokes

Blonde Asks Anant - Do U know the full-form of COLLEGE-
Anant : I know , it's
C-Come,
O-On,
L-Lets,
L-Love,
E-Each,
G-Girl,
E-Equally……
Thats why boys go to college regularly

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde has a baby and says I wish I knew who the mother is.

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Blonde Jokes

How do you know if a blonde is at the door? You look outside and she is saying hi to your lawn gnomes

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Blonde Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

There was a red head a brunette and the dumb blonde reading a book about this cliff that if you jumped off of it you'd turn into anything you wanted. So the red head goes first and jumps and says "Eagle" So she turns into an eagle, The brunette jumps and says "Falcon" So she turns into a falcon, The dumb blonde trips on a rock and falls and says shiт, Guess what happens? She falls and turns into shiт. :3

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Blonde Jokes