Blonde Jokes - Page 88

A blonde buys a puzzle and takes it home.
After an hour she has none of it together, so she gets frustrated and calls her boyfriend Anant
She says " I just bought this puzzle, but i can't find any of the edges and none of the pieces fit together".
He asks her what is the picture supposed to be.
She says " a rooster".
He says " I'll be over in a minute to help you".
When Anant gets there he says "dамn honey! put all those cornflakes back in the box!

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Blonde Jokes

A heavily pregnant blonde walked on the bus.
She looked at me and said “aren’t you gonna give up your seat”
“No way!” I replied.
“You inconsiderate pig, why not?”
“Because I’m the fuскing driver” I responded

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Blonde Jokes

Blonde girl runs into the pub hysterically shouting "help theres a black man chasing me"
A bunch of lads get together looking when the girl again shouts "quick hes there creeping on the floor" After looking dismayed one calmly informs her
"Thats your shadow love"

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Blonde Jokes Men jokes

A redhead, brunette, and a blonde escape from prison they run to a farm where they hide in a barn in sacks so the cops look for them they go to the barn and the cop kicks the sack with the redhead in and the redhead makes a cat noise so the cop says oh just a cat and then he kicks the second one and the brunette makes a dog noise. the cop says just a dog and then he kicks the one with the blonde in and she says potatoes

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Blonde Jokes

Blonde says to Anant " My boyfriend has dumped me. Why the hеll guys want to marry virgins?"
Anant "to avoid comparison"

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Blonde Jokes

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are interviewing for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets.
First, the panel of scientists asks the brunette, “If you could go to any planet, what planet would you choose and why?” She answers promptly, “I would go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet.”
Next, the panel asks the redhead the same question. Without any hesitation, she replies, “I’d like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings.”
Finally, the NASA scientists ask the blonde the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. After pondering for several minutes, she finally answers, “I would go to the sun.”
Several scientists suppress a laugh, but the lead interviewer, trying to take the blonde seriously, explains, “Well, if you went to the sun, you’d burn to death almost instantaneously.”
The blond smirks and puts her hands on her hips. “Do you think I am fсuкing sтuрid! I’d go at night!”

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Jokes about Women News and Politics Jokes Blonde Jokes

Q. Why do blond women never have more than 10 ex-boyfriends?
A. Because they run out of fingers.

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Jokes about Women Blonde Jokes

Santa Singh and Banta singh are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Banta singh noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner.
As he was getting up to talk to her.
Bar Tender said “Hey don’t worry about her, She is lеsвiаn! “.
Banta singh “Lеsвiаn or no lеsвiаn, I get all of them” and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table.
Then leaping forward in a very sеxy voice he said, “Where exactly in Lеsвiаn, you from?”

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Blonde Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Gay and Lesbian Jokes

I wish this was a joke but it's what happened at my work 30 min ago so i had to share, a new Blonde girl that we hired to park customers cars was given the task or moving a Prius that was blocking the way, the car was still on mind you. I see her sit in the car and few taps on the brake and about 2 min later the car is still there as she exits the car and walks into the office to tell me the car isn't turning on something is definitely wrong with the car, i said okay lets go look at it, i sit in the driver seat and she in the passenger. I asked her what the problem was and she replied it's not turning on, i didn't want to make her feel bad so i said don't tell anyone but the car is already on.

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

After a number of meetings and discussions, a blonde 18-year-old was dismissed from FFA, the Future Farmers of America group.
She couldn’t keep her calves together.

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Blonde Jokes USA Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Does anyone else get these little local Gazettes about what is happening in their subdivision or block or small town?
I was reading in one such newspaper about a 15 year-old blonde girl who was ousted from the local chapter of the Future Farmers of America.
She couldn’t keep her calves together.

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Blonde Jokes USA Jokes

An amnesiac walks into a bar. He goes up to a beautiful blonde and says, “So, do I come here often?”

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Blonde Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes

How does a blonde high-five? She smacks herself in the forehead.

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Blonde Jokes

Anant seduces virgin blonde. He takes her to his home.
While enjoying sеx. Suddenly she runs straight to the bathroom
Anant goes and knocks on the door, "Are you okay ??"
No answer, so he opens the door and there sits blonde with her раnтiеs around her ankles, legs spread, and her head stuck between her legs looking at herself.
"What is it ??? What's wrong?" asks Anant.
"It was 10 inches long when it went in... and 5 when it came out.
I am trying to find the other half !!!"

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Blonde Jokes Sex Jokes

A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sеxy blonde wife alone.
The night before he left, he brought home a viвrатоr and gave it to her.
“What’s this for?” she asked.
“It’s for those lonely nights when you miss me,” explained her husband, winking. “Just think of it as something to take my place when you get the mood.”
A week later, hubby returns home, and finds the Viвrатоr in the garbage.
“Honey,” he says, “why did you throw it away? I told you, you should use it in my place when I’m gone.”
“I did,” she said. “But the dамnеd thing Rattled my fillings loose.

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Blonde Jokes

A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working, she sticks her head out and tells the boyfriend to go ahead I'm looking at them. He then replies okay honey are they working or not? She replies back--yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no,yes,no

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Office and Work Jokes Blonde Jokes

After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened. She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fаn off."

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Blonde Jokes

A blonde walks into a hospital and says doctor I have pain all over my body. When I press my knee it hurts when I press my arm it hurts, anywhere I press I'm in pain. The doctor says you have hurt your finger and walks off

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Blonde Jokes

This teacher is teaching her grade four class, and she’s telling them that the word of the day is ‘contagious.’ She asks if anyone can use this word in a sentence, and several people stick up their hands. “Carl,” she says.
Carl says, “My dad told me to stay away from kids with mumps, ’cause they’re contagious.”
“Very good,” says the teacher.
Then she picks Suzie, who says, “The atmosphere was contagious,” and the teacher says, “Excellent, Suzie!”
Then she notices that little Johnny has his hand up, at the back of the class.
“Yes, Johnny?” she says. Johnny says, “The other day, me and my dad’s a-sittin around, and we saw our blonde neighbor painting her fence. She had a tiny little model car paintbrush, and she was going in tiny little strokes up and down the fence, and my dad says to me, “Jesus, it’s gonna take that c*nt ages to finish that fence.”

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes Dad Jokes

Two blondes where driving to Disneyland they pasted a sign that said Disneyland Left, and they went home crying.

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Blonde Jokes