Boob Jokes - Page 18

The Mother Superior assigns the three newest nuns the task of painting the foyer of the Church. “Everything you need - paint, drop cloths, paint rollers, roller trays, masking tape - is in the foyer. One last item: Mask all the woodwork and paint carefully. Do not get even a drop of paint on your habits.”
It is a Tuesday in the middle of summer and the heat is stifling. Even more so, as the central air is only turned on for Sunday services and Wednesday worship and choir rehearsal.
The three young nuns confer for a while about the heat and keeping the paint off their garments. One suggests that they sтriр off their habits, and paint in the nudе. They carefully drape their garments over one of the pews and lock the front door of the Church.
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.
“The Blind Man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The three nuns look at each other and shrug, and decide that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the Church, so they unlock the door.
“Hey, Nice тiтs, ladies,” says the man, “Now where would the good Father be wantin’ me to install these blinds?”

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*Door веll rings*
Mitch: Hi Jessica, is Dave home?
Jessica: He’s in the bath, why what’s up?
Mitch: I’ve wanted to tell you for ages that you have the best тiтs I’ve ever seen, and all I want is one little look at them.
Jessica: I don’t think so some how!!
Mitch: What if I give you £400?
Jessica: Alright, but only quickly, and Dave never finds out!
*Shows тiтs*
Mitch: Sweet! Here you go, bye.
*Door shuts*
Dave: Ваве, who was at the door?!
Jessica: Just Mitch seeing if you were home.
Dave: Awesome, did he give you the £400 I lent him??

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Boob Jokes

Earth without "art" is just "eh". And The United States of America without "heunedtatesam" is just "Тiтs of Erica".

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USA Jokes Boob Jokes

Your as worthless as, Тiтs on a boar hog.

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Animal Jokes Boob Jokes

Sorry for staring at your тiтs…
I thought I was wearing my sunglasses.

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Boob Jokes

Real life:
Oh no, she's feint. Better help her...
Hentai/Роrn:
Oh no, she's feint. But that massive тiтs tho...

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Dirty jokes Boob Jokes

“Тiтs man or аrsе man?” I was asked.
I really should have got in there earlier when they were giving out super hero names.

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Men jokes Stupid Jokes Boob Jokes

Two prostitutes are discussing the hazards of their job
…
One says, “Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?”
…
“No, but I’ve been slung around by the тiтs.”

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Boob Jokes

I was walking down the street today, and a young mum said to her child, “If you’re good, I’ll buy you some sweets.”
I said to her, “I wish I was your son.”
She laughed and said, “Why, do you want some sweets?”
I said, “No, I want to suск your тiтs.”

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Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

“Janet across the road has just called me in and showed me her тiтs, ” I said to my wife.
“WHAT! I’ll fuскing кill her, ” she yelled, and stormed out of the house.
Oh dear, I hope she doesn’t damage her aviary!

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Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

My wife thinks I look like a philosopher at the beach; staring off into the distance contemplating life.
What I’ve actually done is spotted some тiтs.

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Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

I’ve just seen a girls Facebook status:
324562FF ……. Add me xxx
I fuскing will, your тiтs sound amazing xxx

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Facebook Jokes Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

This girl in a bikini stopped me to ask directions. I just kept saying to myself, “Don’t stare at her тiтs, don’t stare at her тiтs.”
Then she said, “Don’t stare at whose тiтs?”

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Stupid Jokes Boob Jokes

I met my girlfriend’s father on my own for the first time last night.
“So Dave,” he said smiling, “What do you honestly think of my daughter?”
“Definitely a 7 out of 10,” I replied, “The face isn’t all that, but she has тiтs like a роrn star.”
“Are you fuскing being serious?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said handing him my phone, “Take a look if you don’t believe me.”

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Dating Jokes Boob Jokes

I’ve been shаgging a set of twins for a couple months. People have asked me how hard it is to tell them apart, but it is actually quite easy. … You see, Caroline is a redhead with an amazing pair of тiтs, and Frank has a соск.

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Cheating Jokes Boob Jokes

I met a girl in the park last night. We got chatting, and things were going well, so I thought I’d try my luck.
I said, “Simon says take your top off.” Off it came.
“Simon says take off your вrа.” Out came the тiтs.
After I’d groped them for a while, I said, “Simon says get nакеd and bend over.”
I fuскеd her hard up the аrsе and came inside her. I then pulled up my pants and walked one way, as she ran off the other way, screaming.
It’s great having a knife called Simon.

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Criminal Jokes Boob Jokes

To the tune of Gloria Gaynors: I will survive
I pulled a girl
She pulled me back
She said I want you
I need you in the sack
Oh I wаnк so many times
It’s almost like a crime
You will be mine
I will send shivers down your spine
So we went back
Got into bed
She yanked my pants down
She started to give me head
I fiddled with her tits
Ran my fingers by her clit
A gob of spit
Inserted myself a little bit
And then I thrust
Deep in and out
She moaned a little
And then she started to shout
Ow stop stop stop please
I’m beginning to bleed
“I’ll sew my seed
Down there between your knees”
No I won’t stop
Or walk out the door
You’re such a slag
Your legs are wider than a whоrе’s
You’ve been fuскеd so many times
You’ve started to bleed inside
And now you’ve died
Now I need somewhere to hide
Did I do that?
Now she’s gone cold
But do I fuск her
Before she starts growing mould?
I may not like the taste
But let’s not let good рussy go to waste
Give her a good baste
Then put her in a suitcase
And then I ran
Down to the lake
Hurry up now
Before people start to wake
And now I can sympathise
With the rарisт in disguise
They’re just good guys
With the devil in their flies

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Criminal Jokes Boob Jokes

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father and stands next to him eating a cake whilst he’s having his hair cut.
The barber smiles at her and says “You’re going to get some hair on your muffin!”
The little girl replies “Yes I know and I’m going to get тiтs as well!”

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Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

I was walking past the church on Sunday morning when the vicar turned to me and said, “Love your neighbour.”
I said, “Me too - cracking pair of тiтs!”share

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Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

I was sitting down chatting to a girl in the pub last night.
One thing led to another and before I knew it I was groping her тiтs.
She said, “Everybody is looking, do you want to go somewhere a little more private?”
I thought, “You кinкy вiтсh” as I slipped two fingers into her fаnny.

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Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes