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Вицове за Коледа Christmas Jokes Weihnachtswitze Chistes de Navidad Анекдоты про Рождество Blagues de Noël Barzellette di Natale Χριστουγεννιάτικα ανέκδοτα Вицеви за Божиќ noel esprileri Жарти про Різдво Piadas de Natal e Papai Noel Dowcipy o Bożym Narodzeniu i Wigilii Julhumor Kerstmoppen Julevitser Julevitser Jouluvitsit karácsonyi viccek Bancuri de Crăciun Vánoční vtipy Anekdotai apie Kalėdas Ziemassvētku Joki Vicevi o Božiću
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Christmas Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
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Q: What kind of music do elves like best?
A:
"Wrap" music!
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If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
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A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars?
A: Elfis!
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Q: Why do Mexicans have tamales for Christmas?
A: So they'll have something to unwrap.
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yo mommas so fат when Santa comes down the chimley he saids hо hо holy shiт..........
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Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA?
A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
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Zwischen den Feiertagen Zwischen Weihnachten und Silvester Ham: Hej, jeg synes du har meget pæne ben, er det i orden jeg kalder dem jul og påske? Hende: Ja? Ham: Hva’ så med at invitere mig på ferie mellem højtiderne? If Thanksgiving is your left leg and Christmas is your right leg, can I visit between the holidays? Hey girl, if your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I cum between the holidays?
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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Chicken to turkey:
"Only Thanksgiving and Christmas? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."
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How did Nicki Minaj know what Lil Wayne is giving her for Christmas?
Lil Wayne isn't very good at wrapping.
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One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house.
When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him.
He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him.
When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys."
So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her вrеаsт. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys."
Then she took off everything and stood nакеd in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
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Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status?
A: Elf-employed.
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The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
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По какво си приличат свещеника и коледното дърво? Στολίδια Ποιά η ομοιότητα ανάμεσα σε έναν γέρο και στο Χριστουγεννιάτικο δέντρο; Τα μπαλάκια Quelle est la différence entre un curé et un arbre de Noël ? Quelle est la différence entre un curé et un sapin de Noël ? Aucune: dans les deux cas les boules servent uniquement à décorer. ou bien Les boules du sapin servent au moins une fois dans l'année ! A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the... How are Justin Bieber and a Christmas tree similar? Both their balls are decoration only. Hvad er ligheden imellem et juletræ og en steriliseret mand? - Kuglerne hænger kun til pynt Hvad er ligheden på en munk og et juletræ? - Kuglene er kun til pynt. Wat is de overeenkomst tussen de paus en een kerstboom? Bij allebei hangen de ballen er voor de sier! - Mi a közös a pap és a karácsonyfa között? - ???? - Mind a kettőn díszek a golyók. Qual a semelhança entre uma Árvore de Natal e um padre? As bolas são só de enfeite! Le sapin de noël et le curé Quelle est la différence entre un sapin de noël et un curé? Dans les deux cas les boules sont là que pour faire joli What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both have balls just for decoration.
Q: What do Christmas trees and priests have in common?
A: Their ваlls are just for decoration.
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Santa rides in a sleigh.
What do elves ride in?
Mini vans!
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My dad was a complicated man.
He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know?
Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.
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Q: Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?
A: Because Santa had said, "No L!"
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement?
I don't know.
A reindeer.
What about the cement?
I just threw that in to make it hard.
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