Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.

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Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

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Knock Knock
Whose there?
9/11
9/11 who?
I thought you said you would never forget.

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The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.

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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
Boom!!!

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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."

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What do black people smoke?
Niggerettes.

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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.

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A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.

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How do you get a Jew to win a race?
Drop a quarter at the finish line.

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What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
The cost.

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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!

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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.

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Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Sатаn; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Sатаn replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!

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Whats the difference between a coffin and a соndом?
One you go in the other you come in!

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Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter?
It sure gave them something to chew over.

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Why did Нiтlеr go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nаzi.

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Europe to Iceland:
Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down.
Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it?
Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH!
Iceland: Woooops...

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years?
A. Michael Jackson

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