Dark Humor Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was:
“She was just lying there nакеd on the table, what was I supposed to do?”
The wife reply’s:
“Perform the fuскing autopsy!”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Doctor to patient:
"Why are you nervous?"
Patient:
"Because this is the first item I am going to have An operation."
Doctor:
"But I am not nervous though this is going to be my first operation."

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.

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Dark Humor Jokes

How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

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Dark Humor Jokes

Why do old Jews have outhouses?
Because their afraid of the showers.

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Dark Humor Jokes Jewish Jokes

"Excuse me, how do I get to the hospital quickly?"
"Just stand in the middle of the road for a while."

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Car and driving jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head.

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Dark Humor Jokes Gross Jokes Morbid jokes Dead baby jokes

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket?
With a blender!

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Dark Humor Jokes

Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Morbid jokes

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.

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Baby Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Phone jokes

Woman delivers baby.
Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc.
Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?"
Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fuскing with you, it was born dead".

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Baby Jokes Jokes about Women Medical and Doctor Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Nurse jokes

Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’

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God Jokes Dark Humor Jokes

What's got four wheels, smokes and squeals?
A bus load of babies on fire.

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Dark Humor Jokes

What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.

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Dark Humor Jokes

An Arabic kid joined my football team.
All he did was вlоw the plays.

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Dark Humor Jokes Kids Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Soccer Jokes

Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’?
A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.

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Dark Humor Jokes

"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.

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Dark Humor Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Funeral jokes Sick and Death Jokes

A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hеll and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth.
The white guy was really confident...first step, he caught a fire a disappeared.
The Mexican, nervously токе the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared.
The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames.
Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"

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Dark Humor Jokes Mexican jokes Chocolate Jokes Black People Jokes

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

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Dark Humor Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes

What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions?
Crime fighter.

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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Jokes about Women Dark Humor Jokes Black People Jokes