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Dark Humor Jokes

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What does a cannibal say to the waiter in a restaurant on a cruise ship?
“Please bring me the passenger list.”
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Богат папуас пътува в първа класа на луксозен параход. Ein Kannibale im Flugzeug Στο πλοίο Ein Kannibale fliegt zum ersten mal. Die Stewardes kommt vorbei und fragt: Este es un caníbal que va en avión, y a la hora de comer, pasa una azafata y le pregunta: ¿Quiere que le traiga el menú? Y el caníbal responde: No, mejor tráigame la lista de pasajeros. Resulta que un caníbal viajaba en un avión, y a la hora de almorzar, se le acerca la azafata y le pregunta: ¿Le traigo la carta del menú? No, mejor tráigame la lista de pasajeros. O canibal entra no gigantesco restaurante do transatlântico de luxo. Um garçom vem atendê-lo: — Gostaria de ver o menu, senhor? — Não. Pode trazer a lista de passageiros mesmo... Was sagt der Kannibale zum Kellner, wenn er auf einer Kreuzfahrt im Schiffsrestaurant etwa essen möchte? Bringen Sie mir die Passagierliste Der Kannibalenhäuptling ist Ehrengast auf dem Traumschiff. Als man ihm die Speisekarte reicht, schüttelt er nur den Kopf: "Bringen sie mir die Passagierliste" Va un canibal en un avión y la azafata le pregunta: ¿Quiere que le traiga el menú? A lo que el canibal responde: No mejor traigame la lista de pasajeros. ¿Y como llama un canibal a un directorio... Un caníbal va en un avión, y le pregunta la azafata: - ¿Le traigo el menú? - No, mejor tráigame la lista de los pasajeros. Kannibalen var på flytur. Etter en stund kom flyvertinnen bort til ham og spurte: – Har De lyst til å se menyen? Da svarte kannibalen: – Nei takk, men jeg vil gjerne se passasjerlisten. Kannibalen sidder i flyet, og stewardessen spørger: - Ønsker herren at se spisekortet? - Nej tak, giv mig hellere passagerlisten! In un aereo un cannibale guarda il menu ma non trova nulla che gli piaccia. Chiama allora la hostess e le dice: “Signorina, posso avere la lista dei passeggeri?”. Un grand chef cannibale prend pour la première fois l’avion. À midi, l’hôtesse demande ce qu’il veut manger. Il répond : - Eh bien, s’il vous plaît, Mademoiselle, montrez-moi la liste des passagers… Un canibal călătorea cu avionul. Stewardesa îl întreabă: - Ce aţi dori să serviţi de mîncare? La care canibalul: - Îmi aduceţi, vă rog, lista pasagerilor... Un canibal calatoreste Cu avionul. Stewardesa il intreaba: - Cu ce va pot servi? - Pai,aduceti-mi mai intai lista pasagerilor. Viaja un canibal en un avión,y le dice la azafata: - Ahora le traigo el menú. Y dice el canibal: - No,prefiero que me traiga la lista de pasajeros. Un cannibalale prend l'avion pour la première fois. Pour le déjeuner l'hôtesse lui demande ce qu'il veut manger. - Pourriez-vous m'apporter la liste des passager, s'il vous plaît? Um canibal vai viajar de avião, e ao receber o menu do jantar diz a aeromoça: — Prefiro a lista de passageiros. Insotzitoarea de zbor il intreaba pe un canibal daca doreshte sa consulte meniul. Canibalul cere lista pasagerilor....
Dark Humor Jokes
My grandpa came back from the war with one leg.
We still don’t know whose leg it is.
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Dark Humor Jokes
(Girl to a guy standing on the railing in the middle of a tall bridge)
“No! Please don't jump!”
(pulls out phone and turns on camera)
“OK, go ahead!”
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Dark Humor Jokes
Patient:
“Doctor, I just feel so invisible, ignored… Like I didn’t even exist…”
Doctor:
“Next!”
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Dark Humor Jokes
Doctor:
“Do you do sports?”
Patient:
“Does sеx count?”
Doctor:
“Yes.”
Patient:
“Then no.”
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Спортуваш ли нещо? - Ты занимаешься спортом? Fragt ein Freund: Kevin, machst du Sport? Fragt Kevin: Zählt auch Sex? Freund: Ja. Kevin: Dann nicht. - Αθλείστε; - Το σεξ μετράει; - Φυσικά! - Τότε όχι. При доктора: - Спортувате ли? - А се-кса брои ли се? - Естествено, че се брои! - Е, тогава не ... - Дали се занимавате со спорт? - Сексот се рачуна? - Да. - Епа, не! Docteur : Faites-vous du sport ? Patient : Est-ce que faire l'amour compte ? Docteur : Oui. Patient : Alors non.
Dark Humor Jokes
It really makes me mad when I hear idiots saying that women belong in the kitchen. Such сrар. Who would clean the rest of the house?!
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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes
There’s an evil rumor going around that I’m a hаrdсоrе gambler. I don’t know what ваsтаrd is spreading such lies, but I’d bet serious money on it being Mike.
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Dark Humor Jokes
What creature has four legs and one hand?
A happy Rottweiler returning from his morning walk.
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Pet Jokes Dog jokes Dark Humor Jokes
Knock knock
Whos there
Boo
Boo who
Why are you sad
My wife has cancer
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Dark Humor Jokes Knock-knock jokes
So, I'm single. It's weird 'cause always knew I was gonna die broke and alone. I just didn't know I was gonna live that way, too.
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Dark Humor Jokes Single People Jokes
Why did sally fall of the swing
She had no arms
Knock knock
Who's there
Not sally
What did sally get for Christmas we don't know she didn't open it yet
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Dark Humor Jokes Christmas Jokes Knock-knock jokes
People think kids are the only ones that want to get out of class at 3 o'clock every single day. No, no -- go see the teachers on a Friday at 3 o'clock. You'll see teachers stiff-arming kids on the way out to the parking lot.
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Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Single People Jokes School Jokes
Two dudes walk. Into a bar uhhh...... I forgot the rest of the joke.
Anyway your mom is a whоrе.
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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes
What did one Japanese man say to the other? I dunno... something in Japanese.
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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Anti-Humor Jokes Japanese Jokes
A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a рrоsтiтuте walk into a bar.
It was a very popular bar.
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Dark Humor Jokes Men jokes Anti-Humor Jokes Priest Jokes
I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins.
I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it.
Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
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Копах нощес яма в гората и намерих сандък със злато. Копал яму в саду, как вдруг откопал целый сундук с золотом. Jeg gravde et hull bak i hagen vår da jeg fant en kiste full av gullmynter. Jeg holdt på å løpe rett inn for å fortelle kona mi om det, men så kom jeg på hvorfor jeg gravde hullet i utgangspunktet. - Когда я копал яму в саду, то нашел горшок с золотыми монетами. Хотел побежать в дом и обрадовать жену, а потом вспомнил, зачем копал эту яму... Kopałem dół w ogrodzie. Nagle łopata zatrzymała się na starej, drewnianej skrzyni. W środku znalazłem setki starych, złotych monet. Z podniecenia i ekscytacji chciałem zawołać żonę i pokazać jej te... En creusant dans mon jardin, j'ai découvert un géant trésor. Des pièces d'or, des bijoux, des diamants... J'étais tellement content que j'ai couru l'annoncer à ma femme. C'est là que je me suis...
Morbid jokes Dark Humor Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes
Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work
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Office and Work Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes
Me: Guess What?
Lad: What?
*Gets ran over by a bus*
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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes
Die hard
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Dark Humor Jokes
Why was Sally rolling in the grass?
She was on fire.
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Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes
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