Facebook Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

I’ve been playing poker on Facebook.
So far I’ve poked 113 women, but not a one of them have poked me back.

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Jokes about Women Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

My girlfriend just sent me a Facebook message saying:
“helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative”
Does anybody know what ‘ternative’ means?

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Dirty jokes Facebook Jokes

Just changed my Facebook name to ‘No one’ so when I see sтuрid posts I can click like and it will say ‘No one likes this’.

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Facebook Jokes

I recently broke up with a girl. She wasn’t very happy about this and to show how sad she was she wrote this as her Facebook status:
“What’s Mickey without Minnie, What’s Tigger without Pooh, What’s Patrick without Spongebob, What’s me without U???”
So I commented:
“That would make you a Fcking Stpid Dmped Cnt”

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Facebook Jokes Dating Jokes

Someone knocked at my door this afternoon.
When I opened it, I saw a guy from Domino’s holding a cheese and tomato pizza.
“I haven’t ordered any pizzas,” I said. “This must be a mistake.”
“I know,” he replied. “Your neighbour forgot his Facebook password and wanted to show you what he was eating for lunch.”

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

I posted a joke on my FaceBook Timeline… I can’t show it here. …
…
My wife said if the joke gets over 1,000 “likes” in 24 hours, I get аnаl. …
…
Uhhhh, unfortunately I misunderstood her words. …
…
Please don’t “like.” Her boyfriend’s сhоdе is huge.
(You can look up “Сhоdе 1” on Urban Dictionary. Clue: Imagine a can of tuna.)

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Facebook Jokes Masturbation jokes

Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. *Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.*

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Facebook Jokes Attitude Jokes

I just saw a group on Facebook - “We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.”
Going by that theory we would also need to find: A liver, a small intestine, a diaphragm…
And a реnis.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

This girl just posted a status on Facebook which said:
“Fuскing phone!!!!!!!!!”
Apparently, “Can I watch?” is not an appropriate reply.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

Facebook needs a “I’ll Drink To That” button

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

Joke Cafe one liners.
Because we shouldn’t have to think up our own facebook statuses.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

I’ve just seen a girls Facebook status:
324562FF ……. Add me xxx
I fuскing will, your тiтs sound amazing xxx

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Facebook Jokes Masturbation jokes Boob Jokes

This was a recent conversation that I had with my girlfriend’s father, who knows I do web design.
Father: I have a business idea. How hard is it to make a Facebook?
Me: Oh, that's simple, not hard at all.
Girlfriend: No, he doesn’t mean to make a Facebook profile. He means to redo ALL of Facebook.
Me: Oh. In that case, that's very hard.
Father: Oh, okay. (Pause) What are we talking then, maybe just 3 to 5 hours?

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Technology Jokes Facebook Jokes

Well we just cut the Cable...
Facebook offers the Jerry Springer show, Dr. PhIL, Rachel Ray and Captain Kangaroo all on one channel -- Facebook -- gotta love it!!!

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Computer Jokes Facebook Jokes

If you’re sick and tired of every Аsshоlе on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

The LIKE button: also for choosing sides in a Facebook argument without saying anything.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

You know you’re fсuкing ugly when your Facebook picture is a car…

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

The good thing about Facebook is if someone gets on your nerves enough, you can make them cease to exist in your world and you don’t even have to hide a body.

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Facebook Jokes Internet Jokes

I was in the pub with my mate last night when he walked off to the toilet leaving his phone on the table.
As I was just about to update his Facebook status, it started ringing and I could see that it was my wife’s number.
“Hello?” I said, answering it.
“Hey sеxy,” she purred, “I’m currently маsтurватing on the bed and I want you to come here and fuск me.”
“You silly вiтсh,” I said, “Why didn’t you just ring my phone?”

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Facebook Jokes Cheating Jokes