Internet Jokes

A man is introducing his family:
1. This is my wife….. Google Fernandes.. if u ask one question she would give many irrelevant answers …!!!
2. This is our son.. Facebook Fernandes .. he makes sure that our personal matters reach the entire neighborhood…!!!
3. This is our daughter …. Twitter Fernandes… whole neighborhood follows her…!!!
4. This is my mother .. Whatsapp Fernandes … she buzzes all day commenting on everything..!
5. And I am, Myspace Fernandes … I have become irrelevant…….!!!:

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NINE IMPORTANT FACTS TO REMEMBER AS YOU GROW OLDER
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel sтuрid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your вuтт tomorrow.

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Men jokes Internet Jokes Philosophy Jokes

I’ve created a new online social media network called Shiттеr.
It’s like Twitter, but its Shiттеr.

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Social Network Jokes Internet Jokes

Q: How do trees access the internet?
A: They log in.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Internet Jokes

The Queen sent her first ever tweet this week however it was not long before the first lot of trolls arrived.
“Welcome to Twitter! Abdicate” wrote one.
“Fuск off Charles”, came the reply.

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Social Network Jokes Internet Jokes

You need to get a life outside of the internet. Go outside, look around. I'm sure trailer parks smell lovely in the morning.

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Insult Jokes Internet Jokes

My girlfriend told me if I join one more comedy group on the Internet, she’s going to leave me. I’m really going to miss her.

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Relationship Jokes Internet Jokes

Маsтurватing makes your diск smaller. Don't believe me? Asians have really fast internet. Africa doesn't.

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Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes Africa Jokes Internet Jokes

No YouPorn... I do not want to play poker, I'm at work.

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Office and Work Jokes Dirty jokes Internet Jokes

BBC News: Internet trolls face longer sentences.
The news comes as Twitter have announced they will be increasing the number of characters from 140 to 200.

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News and Politics Jokes Social Network Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Internet Jokes

Nothing like Hurricane Sandy to make me realize what's really important in life, internet access.

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Internet Jokes

A bloke gets home from the factory and as he gets in his wife is in the kitchen. The house is spotless and the kids are clean and tidy sat watching the TV. Even the dog has had a bath. His wife calls from the kitchen, “Tea will only be five minutes, I am waiting for the pies in the microwave, and the сhiрs.”
“Fuск me,” he replied, “is the internet down or something?”

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Internet Jokes

We have all heard that a million monkeys ваnging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

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Office and Work Jokes Internet Jokes Life Jokes

I was interviewing a girl for Роrnhuв yesterday.
“So this is just a website admin role?” she asked.
“Yes, it will be office based.”
“So no having to suск anyone off or fuск someone on camera?”
“Well, that depends on how much you want the job,” I said.

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Office and Work Jokes Internet Jokes

The internet is an amazing thing, One minute I’m at work looking up random pages passing the time.
The next minute I’m at home looking for a new job.

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Office and Work Jokes Internet Jokes

Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles "how to read a book".

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Kids Jokes Internet Jokes

Just got a really big response to my advert on the internet saying ‘Wife wanted’. In about 2hrs I had over 300 emails saying ‘you can have mine’.

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Relationship Jokes Internet Jokes

It makes me wonder whether or not there are some old school pedophiles who don't have computers, and they sit around and tell the new pedophiles how easy they got it. 'You know, when I was a young man, there was no Internet. You wanted to meet an eighth grade boy, you put on a clown suit and tracked them down at birthday parties. You couldn't e-mail them like today, you lazy ваsтаrds. And if you wanted to see a picture of a man having sеx with a squirrel, well let me just tell you something -- you couldn't just download it, you had to take the picture yourself.'

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School Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Sex Jokes Internet Jokes

The inventor of internet роrn died last week.
Most of his friends attended the funeral, but had to leave hastily when their wives turned up.

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Friendship Jokes Internet Jokes

Life is an internet. 30 days after you met she wants you to register and begins taking taxes every month.

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Internet Jokes Life Jokes