Jokes Аbout Еurope and European Union

Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe.
3. Australia lost the Ashes.
4. The Pope died.
Lesson to be learned:
The next time Charles gets married, someone should warn the Pope.

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Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, are vacationing in Europe, near Transylvania. They drive in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It is late, raining very hard and Bob can barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly, the car skids out of control. Bob attempts to control it, but to no avail. The car swerves and smashes into a tree..
Moments later, Bob shakes his head to clear the fog. Dazed, he looks over at the passenger seat and sees Betty unconscious, with her head bleeding. Despite the rain and unfamiliar countryside, Bob knows he has to get her medical assistance. He carefully picks her up and begins trudging down the road. After a short while, he sees a light and heads towards it, which is coming from a large, old house. He approaches the door and knocks. A small, hunched man opens the door.
Bob blurts, “Hello, my name is Bob Hill and this is my wife Betty. We’ve been in a terrible accident, and my wife has been Seriously hurt. Can I please use your phone?”
“I’m sorry,” replies the hunchback, “but we don’t have a phone. My master is a doctor. Come in, and I will get him.”Bob brings his wife in.
An older man comes down the stairs. “I’m afraid my assistant may have misled you. I am not a medical doctor; I am a scientist. However, it is many miles to the nearest clinic, and I have had some basic medical training. I will see what I can do. Igor, bring them down to the laboratory.”
With that, Igor picks up Betty and carries her downstairs, with Bob following closely. Igor places Betty on a table in the lab. Bob collapses from exhaustion and his own injuries, so Igor places Bob on an adjoining table.
After a brief examination, Igor’s master looks worried. “Things are serious, Igor. Prepare a transfusion.” Igor and his master work feverishly, but to no avail. Bob and Betty Hill are no more.
The Hills’ deaths upsets Igor’s master greatly. Wearily, he climbs the steps to his conservatory, which houses his grand piano. It is here that he has always found solace and he begins to play. A stirring, almost haunting melody fills the house.
Meanwhile, Igor is still in the lab tidying up. His eyes catch movement, and he notices the fingers on Betty’s hand twitch, keeping time to the haunting piano music. Stunned, he watches as Bob’s arm begins to rise, marking the beat. He is further amazed as Betty and Bob both sit up straight!
Unable to contain himself, he dashes up the stairs to the conservatory. He bursts in and shouts to his master:
“Master, Master! The Hills are alive with the sound of music!”

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Office and Work Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Sci-Fi Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

That's like having to be Mike Нiтlеr during the height of Nаzi Germany. You're Mike Нiтlеr. You work at a bakery. You're just trying to make ends meet. Meanwhile, your brother's out there just acting an аss. People come in the bakery and read your name tag and go off on you, you know? 'Нiтlеr? You're the ваsтаrd that killed 6 million Jews and ravaged Europe and tried to achieve world dомinатiоn by following military--' 'Whoa, whoa, whoa, that's my brother, dude. I just make strudel.'

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Military Jokes Office and Work Jokes News and Politics Jokes Hitler Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

I just found out that Norway has the highest cost of living in Europe…
…
I couldn’t A-Fjord to live there.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

Patient: Oh, doctor, I have terrible troubles. I do hope that you can help me
Psychiatrist: Now calm down. Just lie down on the couch and tell me all about your troubles.
Patient: Well, doctor, I have a duplex penthouse apartment in New York and a summer house on the beach at the Hampton. I drive a Rolls-Royce, and my wife drives a Jaguar. My two boys go to the best private school in the city. We belong to three very swanky clubs, and every year I manage to spend a month in Europe.
Psychiatrist: These things are very wonderful, but let’s get down to your basic problem.
Patient: I was just getting to it, doctor. You see, I only make $100 a week!

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School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes Military Jokes

A beautiful young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. But just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man stopped her.
“You have so much to live for,” said the man. “I’m a sailor, and we’re off to Europe tomorrow, and I can stow you away on my ship. “I’ll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy.”
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Europe, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small, but comfortable, compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches and make love to her until dawn.
Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
“What are you doing here?” asked the captain.
“I have an arrangement with one of the sailors,” she replied. “He brings food and I get a free trip to Europe .”
“I see,” the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, “Plus, he’s sсrеwing me.”
“He certainly is,” replied the captain, “this is the Staten Island Ferry.”

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Jokes about Women Food Jokes Men jokes Dating Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes Military Jokes Sailor Jokes

One day, a blonde wanted to travel from America to Europe. She rang a Travel agent to ask how long it would take. Blonde: How long does take to travel to Europe from America?
Travel agent: just a minute,
Blonde: Thanks *hangs up phone*

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Blonde Jokes USA Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

Your mama is sooo fат when she swam in the Atlantic Ocean for 2 minutes, Europe claimed her as a country.

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Fat Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Blonde goes to chemist Anant.
"Give me medicine which will make реnis limp for one month. And give me contraceptive medicine for one month.
Anant puzzled "will give you medicine. But tell me reason"
Blonde " I will be in Europe trip for one month "

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Blonde Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

Yo mama's so fат, when she plays hopscotch she uses North America, South America, Europe, and Africa

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Yo Momma Jokes USA Jokes Africa Jokes Fat Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff several hundred feet in the air. The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket, which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength. Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nervous about halfway up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed. With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they changed the rope. The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."

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Europe and European Union Jokes

If you like soccer, then welcome to America. See, our country already has entertainment so watching people chase a ball for four hours to end 0 - 0 is not enjoyable -- unless, of course, the bleachers collapse and half of Europe dies.

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Insult Jokes USA Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

Personally, I’m quite happy about the the number of able-bodied male “refugees” immigrating to Europe from the middle east… …
…
I just opened flower shops around the corner from the French and German embassies.

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Political Jokes Men jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

David Moyes recently appeared at a charity event where he said “AIDS was a terrible disease”. That’s rich coming from him, at least AIDS managed to get into Europe.

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Sports Jokes Europe and European Union Jokes

Manchester City are like the Ebola virus
No threat in Europe…

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Europe and European Union Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

Q. Why is Jesus more popular in Europe than the Middle-East?
A. Because water is very scarce in the Middle-East and people get angry if you turn it to wine.

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Europe and European Union Jokes Religion jokes Wine jokes