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Kids Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

One day a man lied down on a nudе beach. Little Johnny comes up to the man, points to his реnis and asks what it was. "Oh, that's my birdie." said the man. "Oh." little Johnny replies. The man fell asleep. When the man woke up, he found himself in the hospital. He looked around to find little Johnny at his bedside. "Hey kid, what happened?", asked the man. "Oh," says little Johnny. "I tried to pet your birdie. It tried to spit water at me, so I cracked it's eggs and burnt it's nest."

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Dirty jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes

Remember kids if a stranger offers you drugs. Say thank you, because drugs are expensive.

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Kids Jokes

I think that Mario Kart's Rainbow Road is just training kids for drunк driving later in life.

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Kids Jokes

Children:
You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Baby Jokes

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Dog jokes

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world.
Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"

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Kids Jokes Office and Work Jokes Money jokes Food Jokes Hairdresser Jokes

I hope the children will never find out why I say ‘oooops…. ” so often when I vacuum their rooms.

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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes

Joke for mothers:
When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor.
When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it.
When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.

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Kids Jokes

"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Stupid Jokes

What is sticky and brown? A stick!

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One-Liner Jokes Kids Jokes

What’s the difference between spinach and boogers?
Kids don’t eat spinach.

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Dark Humor Jokes Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Hitler Jokes Prison Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes

A child comes home dripping wet.
Mother: What on earth were you doing?!

Kid: We were playing dog with my friends.
I was the tree.

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Kids Jokes Dog jokes

A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands on the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"

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Kids Jokes

What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
A: Neither of them, they both weigh a ton!

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Kids Jokes

Two ants want to fight an elephant.
The elephant looks at them: “Two on one? That’s not fair!”

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Kids Jokes

Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the sтuрid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

What did the blanket say to the bed?
No fears, I've got you covered!

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Kids Jokes Food Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Life Jokes

A man arrived in a small country town on Friday. He stayed there for three days and then left on Friday. How is that possible?
His horse was called Friday!

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Kids Jokes

Why don’t snails fаrт?
Because their houses don’t have any windows.

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Kids Jokes