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Kids Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

Kid: "please could I go 2 the toilet"
teacher: "say the alphabet"
Kid: "abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz"
teacher: "where's the p?"
kid: "running half way down my leg"

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes

This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy.
They see two dogs going at it.
The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?"
The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy."
That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama!
The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?"
He says "Oh, were making it a baby."
The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"

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Marriage and Family Jokes Kids Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Pet Jokes Dog jokes

A teenage boy was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. The boy smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nudе, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It has to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these вrеаsтs; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my аss is firm and solid. I have a 28 inch waist. Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, he stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Blonde Jokes Men jokes

Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.

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Car and driving jokes Money jokes Kids Jokes

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it to school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Kids Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

You might be a redneck if, Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

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Kids Jokes Redneck jokes Christmas Jokes

One day a man lied down on a nudе beach. Little Johnny comes up to the man, points to his реnis and asks what it was. "Oh, that's my birdie." said the man. "Oh." little Johnny replies. The man fell asleep. When the man woke up, he found himself in the hospital. He looked around to find little Johnny at his bedside. "Hey kid, what happened?", asked the man. "Oh," says little Johnny. "I tried to pet your birdie. It tried to spit water at me, so I cracked it's eggs and burnt it's nest."

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes

Remember kids if a stranger offers you drugs. Say thank you, because drugs are expensive.

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Kids Jokes

I think that Mario Kart's Rainbow Road is just training kids for drunк driving later in life.

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Kids Jokes

I hope the children will never find out why I say ‘oooops…. ” so often when I vacuum their rooms.

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Gross Jokes Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes

Joke for mothers:
When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor.
When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it.
When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.

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Kids Jokes

"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In the stork?"

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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Stupid Jokes

What is sticky and brown? A stick!

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes

What’s the difference between spinach and boogers?
Kids don’t eat spinach.

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Gross Jokes Sports Jokes Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Hitler Jokes Prison Jokes What's The Difference Jokes

Why was 6 scared of 7?
Because 7 8 9.

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Kids Jokes One-Liner Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes

A child comes home dripping wet.
Mother: What on earth were you doing?!

Kid: We were playing dog with my friends.
I was the tree.

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Kids Jokes Dog jokes

A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands on the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"

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Kids Jokes

What weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
A: Neither of them, they both weigh a ton!

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Kids Jokes

Two ants want to fight an elephant.
The elephant looks at them: “Two on one? That’s not fair!”

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Kids Jokes

Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the sтuрid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes