Kids Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

When Sally got her first period, she was confused and frightened, so she decided to share her trouble with her friend Joey.
Sally told Joey what was happeing, but he didn't quite understand, so she showed him her problem.
Joey said, "I'm no doctor, but it looks like someone ripped your ваlls off!"

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Kids Jokes

Never trust a dog to watch your food.
- Patrick, age 10 When your dad is mad and asks you, Do I look sтuрid? don't answer him.
-Michael, 14 Never tell your mom her diet's not working.
- Michael, 14 Stay away from prunes.
-Rаndy, 9 Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.
-Traci, 14 Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9 Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9 You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9 If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15 Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.
-Lauren, 9 Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.
- Joel, 10 Never try to baptize a cat.
-Eileen, 8 '

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Kids Jokes School Jokes Dog jokes Diet and Weight Loss Jokes

I'm a vegetarian.
We worshipped animals when we were growing up 'cause my mother was a соw. I'm kidding - my father loves that joke.

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Kids Jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes

A little girl got on her grandpa's lap and said, "Did God make me?"
"Yes," the grandpa replied.
"Did God make you too?"
"Yes," the grandpa said.
"Well," the little girl said, looking at his wrinkles and thinning hair. "He sure is doing a better job nowadays!"

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Kids Jokes

Knock, knock Who's there?
You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil? You ever hear the joke about the broken pencil who? Nevermind, it's pointless.

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Kids Jokes

A man escaped jail by digging a hole from his jail cell to the outside world. When he was finally done, he emerged in the middle of a preschool playground.
"I'm free, I'm free!" he shouted.
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

What do you call an elephant between two buildings?
Stuck

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Kids Jokes Animal Jokes

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

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Kids Jokes

There were three boys in a classroom: one named Zip, one named Diск, and one named Pea. Their teacher leaves the room for a moment, so Zip gets on top of the cupboard, Diск goes inside the cupboard, and Рее jumps around outside.
The teacher returns and yells, "Zip down, Diск out, and Pea in the corner!"

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Kids Jokes School Jokes

Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
To wreak an unholy vengeance upon the driver of the car who's standing there, scratching his head, trying to figure out how a zombie baby's head can be beneath his car tires but the rest of the body is nowhere to be seen- unless he were to turn around and notice the zombie baby body bearing down on him, coming ever closer, ready with grasping, pudgy zombie baby fingers to tear and rend at the flesh of this self-same driver who ran his head over, on the dark and rain-swept road that snakes down from the castle of the madman who's creating an army of zombie babies to do his dark, libidinal bidding.

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Kids Jokes Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road Jokes Military Jokes

A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions' cage and asks them their names and what they're up to.
The first boy says, "My name's Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."
The second boy says, "My name's Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."
The third boy says, "My name is Peanuts."

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Kids Jokes

Q: What's yellow and goes up and down?
A: A banana in an elevator.

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Food Jokes Kids Jokes

Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they'd break

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Blue Collar Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes Animal Jokes

Q: Why did the моrоn throw the butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party?
A: He was a party pooper.

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer.

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Communication Jokes Dinosaur jokes

Q: What's black and white and red all over?
A: An embarassed zebra!

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Animal Jokes Kids Jokes Boycott Jokes Internet Jokes

Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles & pay to make my kids walk through a field to pick our own for $27.

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Kids Jokes Car and driving jokes Money jokes

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it to school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."

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School Jokes Office and Work Jokes Kids Jokes Valentine's Day Jokes

You might be a redneck if, Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap.

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Kids Jokes Redneck jokes Christmas Jokes