Little Johnny - Page 18

Teacher: Johnny, where were you born?
Little Johnny: Los Angeles
Teacher: Which part?
Little Johnny: What do you mean which part? The whole body was born in Los Angeles.

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher: How many feet are in a yard?
Little Johnny: It depends on how many people are standing in it.

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny walks in on his Dad putting on a соndом, in an attempt to hide his еrестiоn Johnnys Dad ducks beside the bed.
Johnny asks his Dad what is he doing to which he replies “I thought I saw a rat”
Johnny replies ” well what were you going to do when you found it, fсuк it?”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

An old man walks onto a bus one day. All the seats are full, so he has to stand and balance himself on his cane. The bus hits a bump and the rubber tip of his cane breaks off and he falls. Little Johnny, seated nearby, says to him, "Sir, you have to pull the rubber over the tip more carefully!" The man replies,
"If your dad had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this dамn bus!"

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Insult Jokes Men jokes Dad Jokes

School kids were having a debate about the U. S. Presidential election.
Emma said, “We need a candidate who is willing to tax the ultra rich and give to the poor”.
Little Johnny stood up and said, “I didn’t know Robin Hood was running!”

0 0

School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

Little Johnny was in school one day when the teacher brought around apples for snack time. "Here, Little Johnny, have an apple."
"I don't freakin' want one," declared Johnny.
The teacher was shocked. She called Little Johnny's mother and scheduled her to come in for a meeting the next day. When Little Johnny's mother arrived, the teacher had her hide behind the curtain until snack time came around. As she came to Little Johnny, she again told him, "Here Little Johnny. It's time for your apple."
"I don't freakin' want one," stated Little Johnny again.
The teacher pulled aside the curtain and said to his mother, "See? Did you hear what he said?"
"So?" said his mother, "Don't freakin' give him one."

0 0

School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny had been fooling around with fireworks in his back yard. He ran in through the back door loudly proclaiming, ” Mum, Mum, I just stuck a Roman Candle up a duck’s аss”
His mother, dismayed with this turn of phrase corrects the child. “Rестuм dear, rестuм.”
Little Johnny responded, “Wrecked’im? Nearly blew his fсuкing head off!”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.
Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her раnтiеs and showed Little Johnny what was happening.
Little Johnny’s eyes opened wide in amazement. “You know,” he said, “I’m not a doctor, but it looks like someone has ripped your ваlls off!”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

I t’s career day at school and the teacher instructs his students each to stand up, state their parents occupation, spell it and then tell what their parent would do if they were here today.
Little Rodney stands up and says, ” my father is an accountant, A-C-C-O-U-N-T- A-N-T, and if he were here today, he would help you balance your checkbook”.
“Good Rodney” says the teacher, “how about you, Johnny?'”
Johnny stands up and stammers, “my father is an electrician, E-L-E-K-T, no, no,E-L-E-C-K-T no …. L-E-C-K- no….
The teacher interrupts, “never mind Johnny, sit down, how about you Vinnie?”
Vinnie stands up and says, “My dad’s a воокiе, that’s B-O-O-K-I-E, and if he were here today he’d give you ten to one odds that there’s no way Johnny’s ever gonna spell electrician!”

0 0

School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

“I’ve been looking through the dictionary and I’ve found a word spelt incorrectly” said Little Johnny.
“Wow, that’s brilliant” his teacher replied, “how is the word spelt?”
“I-n-c-o-r-r-e-c-t-l-y.”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny was in his first grammar class when the teacher asked him if he could give a simple sentence.
Little Johnny grinned real big and said,
" I eat six eggs for breakfast."
His teacher replied, "You mean ate?"
Little Johnny thought for a bit. then said,
"Maybe it was eight eggs I eat."

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

Teacher:
“You haven’t been naughty, Little Johnny. Why do you want to stand in the corner?” ….
….
Little Johnny:
“I’m trying to warm up - Mr Smith said corners are almost always 90 degrees.”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

One day little Johnny’s neighbor was washing dishes and saw little Johnny out the window sitting on the steps with his pet cat. …
….
She saw him eat a jelly bean, bite the cat’s tail and move down a step. …
…
She continued to watch him and he did it again (eat a jelly bean, bite the cat’s tail and move down a step). …
…
When curiosity got the best of her, she went across the street and asked little Johnny what he was doing. …
…
He said “I’m pretending I’m an 18-wheeler truck driver.”
She asked him, “Well Johnny what does that mean?”
He said “I’m popping pills, eating рussy and moving on!”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny is in art class. The art teacher asks, “What are you drawing?"
Johnny answers, “A соw eating grass,"
"Where's the grass?"
"The соw ate it!"
"Oh... what about the соw?"
"She ran away!"

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

A little johnnys parents decided that the only way to have a quickie while their son johnny was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was going on in the neighborhood. So little johnny stood on the balcony and reported on everything that was happening. “A police car has just called at the Hamilton’s’ house, the Chandlers are taking delivery of a new wardrobe, and the Mitchell’s are having sеx.” Hearing this, little johnnys parents shot bolt upright. “How do you know the Mitchells are having sеx?”
“Because their kid is standing on the balcony too.”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Sex Jokes Police Officer Jokes

Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. His Dad reluctantly agrees.
Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks, ‘Dad, what’s love juice?’
Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sеx.
Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says, ‘So what were you watching?’
Billy says, ‘ Wimbledon .’

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Sex Jokes Dad Jokes

Little Johnny walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, wrote the word “PERIOD” on the blackboard, then sat back down.
Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnny had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was.
“It’s a period” reported Johnny.
“Well I can see that” she said. “But what is so exciting about a period.”
“Dammmmnnn if I know” said Johnny, “but this morning my sister said she missed one.
Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mummy fainted and Uncle Bob сrар himself.”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny:
“Mummy, last night I saw the baby-sitter kissing a strange man in our living room.” ….
…
Mum:
“What?!” ….
…. ….
Little Johnny:
“Ha-ha, April Fool … it was only Daddy.”

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing and
Staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.
The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the
Pastor walked up and stood beside him. Gazing up at the plaque, too, he
Said quietly, "Good morning son."
"Good morning pastor" replied the young man, not taking his eyes off
The plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.
"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service," replied the pastor. Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque.
Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly,
"Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30 service?"

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes Men jokes

Little Johnny sat silently at the back of the class, along with his fellow students. His teacher began discussing vocabulary. She asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.
Mary raised her hand and said, 'I went to the beach yesterday, and the sea was fascinating'.
The teacher replied, 'Good attempt, Mary, but I want "fascinate", not "fascinating"'.
Harry waved his hand and stated, 'We visited Grandpa's farm yesterday and I was fascinated.'
Ms Davids shook her head. 'The word is "fascinate", but good try.'
Little Johnny waved his hand wildly at the teacher. "My aunt bought a new 10-button shirt the other day, but her воовs are too big and she can only fasten eight'. XD

0 0

Little Johnny Jokes