Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes

Antartian “J” goes for a job interview as a math’s teacher, at the place of interview he finds hundreds of other antartians applying for the same job. He goes in and he is asked:
"What is 2+2”, antartian “J” thinks and finally says 5. The authorities tell him he has got the job, as his answer was the most accurate.

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A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school.
After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut.
Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework.
The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad.
Looking at it they see under math an A+.
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, “What changed your mind about learning math?”
The son looked at mom and dad and said, “Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher’s desk and I knew they meant business.”

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School Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes

At what kind of math is a crazy man best?
MANTAL math.

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Men jokes One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes

Sam: Dad, would you do my math homework for me?
Dad: No, son, it wouldn’t be right.
Sam: Well, at least you could try.

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Kids Jokes Dad Jokes Math Jokes

One math book says to the other, "you think you got problems, you're just algebra, I'm advanced calculus."

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One-Liner Jokes Math Jokes

What is 2+2? To the mathematician it is 4.
To the philosopher "it depends how you define the concept of 2"
To the accountant "what would you like it to be."

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Math Jokes

Q. Why did the amoebae flunk the math test?
A. Because it multiplied by dividing!

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Math Jokes

Their are 80% of people who are good at math, the rest are not good at math. I think I'm one of the 25%.

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Math Jokes

Interviewer:
“Your resume says you are extremely quick at math”
Me:
“yes, as a matter of fact I am”
Interviewer:
“Whats 14×27?”
Me:
“49.”
Interviewer:
“that’s not even close.”
Me:
“Yeah, but it was extremely quick.”
Interviewer:
“What is your biggest weakness?”
Me:
“Interviews”
Interviewer:
“And besides that?”
Me:
“Follow up questions.”

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Office and Work Jokes Math Jokes

A pizza is like a pie chart that shows you how much pizza you have left. This is why a lot of mathematicians work at Pizza Hut.

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Office and Work Jokes Math Jokes

Little Kelvin's darkest day was when he was asked by his mathematics teacher to solve a problem on the board. The question was asking for the answer to 2+3.
He knew he couldn't solve that so he glanced towards his bright friend for help. His friend willing to help but fearing to speak out loud, showed him his palm as a silent indication to the answer.
So little Kelvin drew the palm.

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School Jokes Friendship Jokes Math Jokes

Math teacher : what are you two talking about?
Student : math
Math teacher : what part in math?
What time it is to leave

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Insult Jokes Math Jokes

My math teacher never goes outside..
I can tell, cos there’s no sin of his tan..

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Math Jokes

A first grade teacher collected old, well-known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest. Here are the results:
* Better be safe than ... Punch a 5th Grader.
* It's always darkest before ... Daylight saving time.
* You can lead a horse to water, but ... How?
* You can't teach an old dog ... Math.
* Love all, trust ... Me.
* The pen is mightier than the ... Pigs.
* You get out of something what you ... See pictured on the box.
* When the blind leadeth the blind ... Get out of the way.
* There is no fool like ... Aunt Eddie.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes

It was the firs day of school, and the first grade teacher decided to see how much her students knew about math.
“Steven, can you tell me what is 3 and 2?” Steven said, “That’s when you should watch very, very carefully before you swing at the next pitch.”

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School Jokes Math Jokes

A football coach had a star quarterback who was as dumb as a post. The only way the kid could stay on the team would be to pass all his classes, which was impossible. All his teachers agreed to go easy on him except for one, his math teacher. The coach begged the math teacher to not fail the kid. The math teacher agreed to give the boy an оrаl exam which, if he passed, would count for class credit. The coach came to the exam to support his star athlete. The math teacher asked only one question for the exam:
"What is two plus two?"
"Four," the athlete answered.
The football coach went into a panic and yelled, "Give him another chance! Just one more chance!"

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Sports Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes

Funny Bumper Stickers:
· Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiот.
· We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
· He who laughs last thinks slowest.
· Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
· It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
· Auntie Em, hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy.
· Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
· I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
· Montana -- At least our cows are sane!
· Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
· Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

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Kids Jokes Math Jokes

A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, “We have the Parthenon.”
Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”
The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”
The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”
And so on and so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion. With a flourish of finality he says, “We invented sеx!”
The Italian replies, “That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women.”

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Jokes about Women Sex Jokes Ethnic and Racial Jokes Math Jokes

I am so Broke... when I stop at a street corner, the homeless give me money.
I am so Broke... my bank statement shows TWO decimals points on my current balance.
I am so Broke... a televangelist said that all of His children will prosper, except this guy and shows my picture.
I am so Broke... mathematicians can now show that if you divide any number by zero, it will equal what is in my bank account.
I am so Broke... I can't afford anything Free.
I am so Broke... even my IP address is 00.00.00.00
I am so Broke... I am proof that multiplying a negative and a negative WILL give you a negative again.
I am so Broke... when I use a calculator to get the value of Pi, all I get is .1

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Money jokes Math Jokes

Sammy wants to test the math skills of his 5 year old cousin, Perry. He asks him, "If you have two candies and I give you two candies, how many candies will you have?"
Without hesitating, Perry answers. "Before I answer that, first give me the two candies."

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Kids Jokes Math Jokes