Math jokes, Mathematics Jokes, Mathematicians jokes, Algebra Jokes

When a patient was wheeled into our emergency room, I was the nurse on duty.
"On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is now?"
She shook her head. "Oh, I don’t know. I’m not good with math."

0 0

There was a teacher who was shouting at his class because they were being lazy. "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% of you failed this math class," he said.
One of the kids rasies his hand, "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said.

0 0

School Jokes Kids Jokes Math Jokes

Teacher-Did u finish your homework assignment?
Student- Did u grade my math test all of us took yesterday?
Teacher- Well I have other students test to grade and.....
Student-Shiт happens

0 0

Insult Jokes Math Jokes

What did one English book say to the math book?
You have way too many problems

0 0

Math Jokes

Welcome to my new education program. Your child can learn many new things for state exams and self knowledge. For beginners I have the "Standard High Intelligence Test" Entry Form ( S. H. I. T. Entry Form). This will help access your child's knowledge on the F. U. C. K. standards (Former Utopia Core K-12 Standards)
In addition, I have also created the new and improved Deriative Intergration Calculus Kit (D. I. C. K.) to help advanced math students. Join today to get a S. H. I. T. to begin F. U. C. K into D. I. C. K. S ! (only $999 batteries not included)

0 0

Dirty jokes Math Jokes

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell “crocodile?”
Glenn:
“K-r-o-k-o-d-i-a-l”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

0 0

Insult Jokes USA Jokes Math Jokes

The pet store was selling three parrots. A man who wants to buy a parrot approaches the clerk and asks, “How much are your parrots?”
The sales clerk answers, “The first one is $1,000.”
“What does he know?”
“He knows 10,000 words and 500 sentences and can solve mathematical expressions.”
“How about the second one?”
“The second parrot costs $5,000.”
“What does he know?”
“He knows 100,000 words and 10,000 sentences, can solve mathematical expressions, and create computer programs.”
“Then what is the price for the third one?” asked the buyer.
“This one costs $20,000.”
“Really?! What does he know?”
“This one knows absolutely nothing, but the two others always call him 'BOSS’."

0 0

Animal Jokes Men jokes Math Jokes

A physicist, a mathematician and a computer scientist discuss what is better: a wife or a girlfriend.
The physicist:
"A girlfriend. You still have freedom to experiment."
The mathematician:
"A wife. You have security."
The computer scientist:
"Both. When I'm not with my wife, she thinks I'm with my girlfriend. With my girlfriend it's vice versa. Then I can be with my computer without anyone disturbing me."

0 0

Math Jokes

Girls are like math problems. If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.

0 0

Dirty jokes Math Jokes

Dear Algebra,
Please stop asking us to find your x.
She is not coming back

0 0

Math Jokes

An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist were standing around the university flagpole when an English professor wandered by. “What are you doing?” he asked. “We need to know the height of the flagpole,” said one, “and we’re discussing the formulas we might use to calculate it.” “Watch!” said the English professor. He pulled the pole from its fitting, laid it on the grass, borrowed a tape measure and said, “Exactly 24 feet.” Then he replaced the pole and walked away. “English professor!” sneer the mathematician, “We ask him for the height, and he gives us the length.”

0 0

Math Jokes

Why did the nerd eat the fifth grader's math test??
Because it was a peace of cake!!

0 0

Math Jokes

One day a math teacher and his brother were out golfing. The brother was to tee off first and just before he swung he yelled "4!!” The math teacher was up next and just before he swung he yelled, "Square root of 64 divided by two!!"

0 0

Math Jokes

It’s not Politically Correct to say Lottery players are sтuрid or rетаrdеd.
They are “Mathematically Challenged.”

0 0

Political Jokes Math Jokes Stupid Jokes

Im not that good in algebra but I know that I+U=69

0 0

Dirty jokes Math Jokes

“It’s no good, sir,” said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher, ‘I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other.”
“Goes in both ears and out the other?” asked the puzzled teacher, “but you only have two ears, son.”
“You see, sir,” I’m no good at math, either!”

0 0

School Jokes Math Jokes

What did the math teacher say to Dracula after he failed the math test?
"Can't you Count Dracula?"

0 0

School Jokes Math Jokes

A mathematician couldn’t remember if he had been with his girlfriend for 1 year or 2.
But he knew it was

0 0

Math Jokes Dating Jokes

8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?’ Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six two.

0 0

Math Jokes

An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said:
“you mathematicians don’t know your limits.”

0 0

Math Jokes