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A guy dies and is sent to Неll.
Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in.
In the first room, people are standing in shiт up to their necks.
The guy says "no, let me see the next room."
In the second room, people are standing with shiт up to their noses.
Guy says no again.
Finally, Sатаn opens the door to the third room.
People are standing with shiт up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries.
The guy says,
"I pick this room."
Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Sатаn yells, "O. K., coffee break's over.
Everyone back on your heads!"
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”