Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes

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A man goes to a party and has too much to drink.
His friends plead with him to let them take him home.
He says no -- he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line.
Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area.
The police tell the drunк party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home.
When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door.
They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes.
They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day.
The police have his driver's license.
They ask to see his car and she asks why.
They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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Гости Mad Mother-of-Six El chiste de la madre de siete Μητέρα των Έξι There once was a man who was so proud of the fact that he had six kids that he insisted on calling his wife "mother of six." Ein Mann hat sechs Kinder und ist sehr stolz auf seine Leistung. Er ist so stolz, dass er anfängt seine Frau "Mutter von Sechs" zu nennen , trotz ihrer Einwände. Eines Abends gehen sie auf eine... Едно семейство имало шест деца. Башата бил толкова горд,че спрял да нарича жена си по име, а й казвал: "майко на шест деца". Веднъж отишли на театър, но в антракта се изгубили. Застанал мъжът на... O maior orgulho de Evaldo era sua prole: seis filhos! Vivia tão cheio de si que passou a chamar a mulher de Mãe-de-Seis, apesar dos protestos dela, que odiava o apelido. Uma noite, no aniversário... Un uomo, mentre e’ in casa con i suoi amici, chiama la moglie e dice: “Madre di cinque figli portaci da bere”. La donna gli porta da bere. E l’uomo: “Grazie, madre di 5 figli”. E la donna: “Prego,... Mor til seks En mand og hans kone havde fået fem børn og ventede et Sjette, hvilket manden var ret stolt af. Da det sjette barn var ankommet gav han sin kone øgenavnet "mor til seks". En aften da... Een man heeft 6 kinderen en is trots op zijn prestatie. Hij is zo trots op zichzelf dat hij zijn vrouw 'moeder van 6' noemt, ondanks haar protest. Op een avond, gaan ze naar een feest. De man... En mann har seks barn og er veldig stolt over hva han har oppnådd. Han er så fornøyd at han begynner å kalle sin kone for "mor til seks", på tross av hennes innsigelser. En kveld var de ute i et...
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Неделна служба в църквата. El borracho y el diablo Имало едно време един мъж, който се прибрал вкъщи много късно и много пиян всяка вечер. Еј, старецу – викнал ѓаволот. Este era un señor muy borracho, que ya se le había hecho costumbre llegar a su casa borrachísimo, su mujer muy enfadada le pone una trampa, se disfraza de satanás y se esconde detrás de un sillón para asustarlo. El tipo llega, se sienta en el sillón,... Det är i kyrkan en söndag, högmässan skall just börja, orgelmusiken ljuder från läktaren. Då plötsligt står Djävulen i egen hög person längst fram i koret och blickar ut över församlingen. Panik... A preacher was giving a sermon to a full church when all of a sudden the devil appeared. He was menacing and threatening and the entire congregation started to flee the church except for one old... One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town ofJohnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before theservice started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews...
Partying and Bad Behavior Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Men jokes
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We BET we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
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Due ragazzi si incontrano in un locale e folgorati dalla passione, decidono di trascorrere da lei una lunga notte passionale. Al mattino seguente, lui nota una foto di un uomo sul comodino e comincia a preoccuparsi.
A man was drinking in a bar when he noticed this beautiful young lady sitting next to him. "Hello there," says the man, "and what is your name?"
"Hello," giggles the woman, "I'm Stacey. What's yours?"
"I'm Jim."
"Jim, do you want to come over to my house tonight? I mean, right now??"
"Sure!" replies Jim, "Let's go!"
So Stacey takes Jim to her house and takes him to her room. Jim sits down on the bed and notices a picture of a man on Stacey's desk.
"Stacey, I noticed the picture of a man on your desk," Jim says. "Yes? And what about it?" asks Stacey.
"Is it your brother?"
"No, it isn't, Jim!" Stacey giggles.
Jim's eyes widen, suspecting that it might be Stacey's husband. When he finally asks,
"Is it your husband?" Stacey giggles even more,
"No, silly!"
Jim was relieved.
"Then, it must be your boyfriend!"
Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim's ear. She says, "No, silly!!"
"Then, who is it?" Jim asks. Stacey replies,
"That's me BEFORE my operation!!"
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