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Relationship Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Why are women like condoms?
The both spend about 90% of the time in your wallet and 10% of the time on your cock
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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes
Wanting to have a quick love-making session, the couple told their 8-year-old son to go stand on the balcony with a popsicle and to report to them all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into action.
"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. A few moments passed.
"An ambulance just drove by." A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike."
A few moments later, "Looks like the Sanders are moving... and Jason is on his skate board." A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sеx."
Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they are having sеx?"
"Because Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a popsicle too."
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Семейството на Иванчо живеели в едностаен апартамент. Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. A little johnnys parents decided that the only way to have a quickie while their son johnny was in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and let him give a running report on what was... Was ist los? Ein junges Paar mit fünfjährigem Sohn hat keinen Babysitter gefunden, also denken sie sich: "Lassen wir ihn doch auf der Terrasse und sagen wir ihm, dass er uns über alles informieren soll, was er... C'est Samedi après-midi et Zé et Ginette ont une sacrée envie d'un peu d'intimité pour une partie de jambes en l'air. Malheureusement pour eux, Momo leur fils est dans l'appartement et comme il... Les parents de Toto ont envie d’une petite après-midi coquine et intime. Ils demandent donc à leurs fils d’aller prendre l’air sur le balcon et de noter les activités des voisins. Sur le balcon,... Подружня пара. Чоловік каже: - Люба, давай займемося коханням? - Як? У нас однокімнатна квартира і маленький Вовчик! Як ми йому пояснимо? - А я дам йому бінокль. Дають Вовочці бінокль, підводять до вікна і просять коментувати, що він там бачить. Вовочка: - Ось я бачу дорогу. Ось зупинка, до неї... Os pais do Joãozinho descobriram que o único jeito de se livrarem de seu filho de sete anos por algumas horas no domingo para fazerem sexo seria colocá-lo na varanda do apartamento e pedir para ele... Zenek i Maria uznali, że aby mięć chwilę dla siebie w niedzielne popołudnie, jedynym wyjściem jest wysłać syna na balkon i poprosić go o komentowanie tego, co się dzieje w okolicy. Chłopiec zaczyna komentować, a rodzice robią swoje. - Holują samochód na parking - mówi - przejechała karetka.... Johan och Maria kom underfund med att det enda sättet att få till en söndagssnabbis var att skicka ut deras tioårige son på balkongen för att rapportera vad som hände i grannskapet. Pojken... Föräldrarna hade länge funderat över hur de skulle få till en söndagssnabbis utan att deras 10 åriga son Anders skulle se dem. De kom på att han kunde gå ut på balkongen och berätta vad som hände i... Het is zondagmiddag en de ouders van Jantje hebben onweerstaanbare zin in een potje sex. Helaas, Jantje is in het appartement en omdat er slecht weer voorspeld is hebben ze liever dat Jantje niet... Móricka szülei, hogy zavartalanul szeretkezhessenek, kitalálják, hogy kiküldik az erkélyre Mórickát, és kérik, hogy folyamatosan mondja, amit lát. Móricka ki is megy és mondja: - A szomszéd most... Mama si tatal lui Bula stateau la garsoniera. Ei vroiau sa faca sex si nu stiau cum sa scape de Bula. Ii vine o idee tatalui : T: Bula ia iesi tu pe balcon si zi ce mai e pe afara. Bula se duce si... Nutarė Petriuko tėvai pasimylėti. Bet Petriukas vis namuose trinasi, niekur eiti nenori. O butas – vieno kambario. Na, tėvai ir sugalvojo klastą – liepė eiti Petriukui į balkoną, ir pasakoti, kas... Vīrs ar sievu nolemj, ka vienīgais veids, kā svētdienas pēcpusdienā pamīlētos savā dzīvoklī, kur ir arī viņu desmitgadīgais dēls, ir izsūtīt viņu uz balkona un paprasīt lai viņš ziņo par ārā...
Sex Jokes Relationship Jokes Dad Jokes
Can’t believe how кinкy my wife is, she loves it in the ear. Everytime I put it near her face she turns her head to the side.
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Relationship Jokes
The following conversation took place between an unemployed husband and his wife.
Husband: Today I’m gonna take you out for a meal.
Wife: Wow, did you manage to find a job?
Husband: No, I lost the house playing poker.
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Relationship Jokes
Threw a lemon into my friends face as a joke last week, he’s quite bitter about it.
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Friendship Jokes Relationship Jokes
What’s the difference between a whоrе and a wife?
A wife accepts credit cards.
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Relationship Jokes
To make sure I won't be late for work, my girlfriend calls me on the phone every morning to wake me up.
Wouldn't it be easier for her to just lean over, start shaking me, and yell, 'HEY! WAKE UP!'?
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Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes
The following conversation took place between a husband and wife.
Wife: If women ruled the world there would be no wars.
Husband: Yeah that’s true. Wars require strategy, planning and logic.
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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes
At the Super Bowl party, Ken overheard two wives talking about their husbands and men in general. Then he heard the best quote ever from one of them....
"The rules of football and the plot of The Godfather are the two most complicated things that every guy understands, no matter how dumb he is."
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Men jokes Relationship Jokes
Item in the "Cyclops Dating for Dummies" book: Never date a cyclops much shorter than you.
Why?
You'll never see eye to eye on anything.
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Relationship Jokes
Today my wife told me that I need to be more spontaneous so I punched her in the throat.
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Relationship Jokes
My wife and I are in what you would call a love-hate relationship.
“She loves me, I hate her”
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Marriage and Family Jokes Relationship Jokes
Sign up entering a resturant:
NO, we do not have WIFI... TALK TO EACH OTHER!
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Relationship Jokes
My girlfriend said she wanted to watch Jeremy Kyle live in person so I shagged her sister and got her pregnant.
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Relationship Jokes
My wife - Beautiful, kindhearted, great sense of humor… at least one of those things would have been nice.
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Relationship Jokes
It’s my wife’s birthday today so I’ve decided to get her a pair of slippers and a dildо. If she doesn’t like the slippers she can go fuск herself.
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Relationship Jokes
Scientists in Japan have just invest a new camera with a shutter speed that is so fast that they claim they can actually photograph a women with her mouth closed.
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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes
A female reporter was conducting an interview with a farmer about Mad Соw Disease. “Mr. Brown, do you have any idea what might be the cause of the disease?”
“Sure. Do you know the bulls only sсrеw the cows once a year?”
“Umm, sir, that is a new piece of information, but what’s the relationship between this and Mad Соw?”
“And did you know we milk the cows twice a day?”
“Mr. Brown, that’s interesting, but, what’s the point?”
“Lady, the point is this: if I’m playing with your тiтs twice a day, but only fсuкing you once a year, wouldn’t you go fсuкing mad, too?”
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Jokes about Women Relationship Jokes Sick and Death Jokes Boob Jokes
Wife:
"Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband:
"How can I? I don't even know her."
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Жена към съпруга си: Жена ми ме упреква: Съпруга следи новите си съседи: Жена казва на мъжа си: Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?" "Gosh," James says, "why I... A farmer and his wife had just waken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed, the farmer's wife says, "Pa, you know our neighbor Mr. Jones?" "Yes Ma, I reckon I do,"... Los vecinos siguen enamorados La esposa, echando de menos el cariño del noviazgo, le dice al esposo: Pepe, te has fijado que el vecino besa todos los días a su mujer cuando se va a al trabajo ¿ Por qué no haces tú lo mismo? ¿De... Una señora le dice al esposo: Los nuevos vecinos son tan amorosos, él la besa, la acaricia, le hace arrumacos, ¿Por qué tú no haces lo mismo? Le responde el esposo: ¡ Pues, porque yo casi no... Una pareja subiendo a un auto: - Mi amor, ¿viste lo tierno y cariñoso que es el nuevo vecino con su esposa?¿Viste como la besa y acaricia? Y sigue: - ¿Por qué tú no haces lo mismo? - ¡Ay mija,... За завтраком жена сердито пеняет своему мужу: Die Ehefrau zu ihrem Ehemann" Жінка каже чоловікові: — Поглянь, яке чудове подружжя наші нові сусіди: він її весь час обіймає, цілує, каже їй ласкаві слова. А чому ж ти цього не робиш? — А я тут причому? Я її навіть не знаю. - Oi, amor... À noite, enquanto o marido lia o jornal, a esposa comentou: Fru Olsson till sin äkta hälft: - Herr Bergqvist här intill brukar ge sin fru en kyss på kinden varje dag innan han går till jobbet. Varför kan inte du göra detsamma? - är du inte klok? Jag... Frun menande till mannen när hon ger honom portföljen i dörren: - Herr Göransson ger alltid sin fru en kyss innan han går till jobbet på morgonen. Varför gör inte du det? - är du inte klok? Jag... Een vrouw klaagt gepikeerd tegen haar man: "Elke ochtend als de buurman naar zijn werk vertrekt kust hij hartstochtelijk zijn vrouw. Waarom doe jij dat nooit?" Waarop de man antwoord: "Waarom!?… Ik... Egy asszony panaszosan mondja a férjének: - Észrevetted már, hogy amikor a szomszédunk hazaér a munkából, mindig átöleli és csókkal üdvözli a feleségét? Te miért nem csinálod ezt? - Nem ismerem még...
Office and Work Jokes Relationship Jokes
Duck tape fixes everything... Except relationships because she won't let you put it over her mouth.
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Relationship Jokes Communication Jokes
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