School jokes, Teacher Jokes

End of the year essay: In this school, I learned...
Friendship
Unity
Compassion
Kindness
Thanking
History
Imagination
Society

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I asked my grandma what health problems ran in our family, for a school project.
She said she couldn't really think of any.
"So you've been pretty healthy all your life?" I asked.
"Yep." she replied contentedly.
"So you've never been bed ridden?" I went on.
"Lord yes, hundreds of times, and once in a buggy!"

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Old People Jokes

Bruno came home from school crying in hysterics. Looking at the bruises all
Over his face, it was apparent he got into some trouble.
"What happened to you?" his father says in a panicky manner.
"You remember the other day you told me 'Sticks and stones may break my
Bones, but words will never harm me.'"
"Of course," the father replies.
"Well," Bruno says,
"You were right about the sticks and stones."

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things, like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

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Jokes about Women School Jokes Money jokes

Difference between Indian Movies and American
Movie :
-
American movies :
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than
Teaching or practice Kung Fu.
2. More than 50% of U. S. population are FBI/
CIA agents, working undercover.
3. The purpose of school system of U. S. is to
Promote basketball.
4. Aliens have special interest in attacking U. S.
5. U. S. is a place where you can meet all
Mythical creatures like were wolves and vampires.
.
.
Indian movies :
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.
2. While defusing a bomb, do not worry,
Whichever wire you cut u'll always choose the
Right".
3. A hero will show no pain, while getting beaten
Up,
But will show pain when a girl cleans up his
Wound.
4. A detective can solve a case only when he is
Suspended from duty.
5. If you decide to start dancing on the street,
Everyone you meet will know the steps.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Anti-Humor Jokes

Why are these kids bringing all these guns to school? And the parents never know:
'Oh, we had no idea. We didn't know.' How could you not know that your kids are making 30 pipe bombs in the garage? My dad knew if I broke wind in the backyard.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Dad Jokes

Don’t eat turkey sandwiches, no matter what ! !
A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that
They both brought turkey sandwiches every day! This went on all through
The fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich
Wasn’t a turkey sandwich.
He said, ‘Hey, how come you’re not eating turkey, don’t you like it anymore?’
She said ‘I love it but I have to stop eating it.’
‘Why?’ he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said ‘Cause I’m starting to grow little
Feathers down there!’
‘Let me see’ he said.
‘Okay’ and she showed him. He looked and said, ‘That’s right. You are! Better
Not eat any more turkey.’
He kept eating his turkey sandwiches until one day he brought a peanut
Butter sandwich instead. He said to the little girl, ‘I have to stop eating turkey
Sandwiches, I’m starting to get feathers down there too!’ She asked if she
Could look, so he showed her!
She said, ‘Oh, my God, it’s too late for you!
You’ve already got the NECK and Giblets!!

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School Jokes God Jokes Friendship Jokes

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.

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School Jokes God Jokes

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes

I had just hung up my phone on the train this morning when I got a tap on the shoulder, “Excuse me,” said a teenage girl dressed in her school uniform, “I wonder if you could settle an argument for us? Me and my friend just overheard your phone ringing and I’m pretty sure it was Beyonce, but my friend is adamant it was Rihanna…”
I said, “You’re both wrong, it was my mum.”

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School Jokes Masturbation jokes Friendship Jokes

Have you finished your chores?
I had to stay after school and talk to my teacher.
Once again, have you finished your chores?
My teacher said I have selective hearing.
Please don’t change the subject, did you take out the trash like I asked?
Oh, I thought you said Billy had to take it out this week.

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Gun control
Barack Obama was at a rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, and asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.’
Then, little Richard Earl , with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said:
“Well, dumb-аss, stop clapping!”

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School Jokes USA Jokes Political Jokes

Two Hillbillies meet after an English exam:
Ey' how was the paper?
Oh it was just great, but I forgot the past tense of "THINK". I thought and thought for a long time, finally I just wrote "THUNK"
Ha ha ha, you are very silly, I thought about that for a while but I know the answer is "Thonk"
And what about the past tense of "Write"
Mmmm, I don't remember what i wrote on that one, I think I wrote "Written"
Well, let's hope you are right, I did not bother with the past tense of "GO", I just wrote "GOED" and went to submit my paper.

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School Jokes

Teacher:
“why are you always late for school?”
Student:
“ because you always ring the веll before I get here!

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School Jokes

A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school.
He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.
"I gave you 50 points for taking the engine apart correctly," the teacher said,
"50 points for putting it back together correctly, and an extra 100 points for doing it all through the muffler."

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School Jokes

It doesn't matter if school doesn't teach us how to get a job or how to raise a family. At least I know the whole periodic table of elements!

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School Jokes Marriage and Family Jokes

Why don’t the Alabama cheerleaders ever play hide and seek? …
…
Nobody wants to look for them.

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School Jokes

The Father, passing thru the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy.
Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door.
After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second floor window. “Whaddya freakin’ want?”
“Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father.
“Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump his dumb аrsе on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”

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School Jokes

My wife was trying to be sеxy last night.
She lay on the bed licking a lollipop then she slowly started to slide it in her fаnny.
“Steady on love” I said “You’re going to need that when you cross the kids over the road for school in the morning

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Sick and Death Jokes

She's so fат that she ran down the street chasing a yellow school bus thinkg it was the largest twinkey ever.

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School Jokes Fat Jokes