School jokes, Teacher Jokes

Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay there.
Marvin: Why?
Teacher: Because your jabbering is very disruptive and nobody wants to listen to it.
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along with me.

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Teacher:
"Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the world?!"
Student:
"Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all my pets."
Teacher:
"An hour and a half?!"
Student:
"Well it is quite a big ant farm…"

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”
Little Johnny says, “That’s a peacock butterfly.”
“Come on, Johnny, peacock butterflies aren’t green!”
“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

Fiona asks her daddy, “Dad, can you write with your eyes closed?”
“I believe I could, child, if I tried.”
“Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report?”

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School Jokes Kids Jokes

Why are there so few schools in the jungles of eastern Africa?
Because there are too many cheetahs.

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School Jokes Good jokes

At school:
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dog jokes

My teacher said I should walk a mile in his shoes so
I’d know how hard it is to be a teacher. Now I‘m a mile away and I still
Don’t have any idea what he’s talking about.

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School Jokes Bad Jokes

What do you call a creepy IT teacher…a PDF file

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School Jokes Computer Jokes

What is the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says,
"Spit out your gum," and the other says,
"Choo choo choo!"

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School Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

The teacher asked,"why are you in school on a saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hеll.

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School Jokes Heaven And Hell Jokes

A 28-year old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online. For $300K, you can have the worst sеx of your life.

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School Jokes Virgin Jokes

Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?
Little Johnny: Just the squashed one.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes

If you dad walks you to school because you're both in the same class. You might be a redneck

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School Jokes Redneck jokes Dad Jokes

One day the school principal was talking to Little Johnny's teacher about his behavior, when all of a sudden Johnny comes running down the hallway. The principal stops Johnny and asks him, why are you running? Little Johnny says; I’m keeping two kids from fighting, sir. Who? ask the principal. Me and the kid chasing me; and off he went.

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes

Son:
“I got expelled.” …..
…..
Dad:
“How?” …..
……
Son:
“I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard.” …..
…..
Dad:
“That’s pretty dumb but-” …
…
Son:
“Then my teacher told me to go back up to the board…”
…
Dad:
“Ok?”
Son:
“And rub 1 out.”

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School Jokes Masturbation jokes Dad Jokes

Teacher: Why are there rings on Saturn?
Kid: Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Teacher: Saturn was not a single lady.

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School Jokes Kids Jokes Insult Jokes God Jokes Single People Jokes

A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to his mother,
“Mom, what’s sеx?”
His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects of the tricky subject.
When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment form which he had brought home from school and said.
“Yes, but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?”

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School Jokes Sex Jokes Masturbation jokes

Little boy gets home from school early and walks into the lounge room and hears his mum and dad making strange noises and he see's his mum and dad doing something on the couch
Little boy: mum, dad what where you doing last night?
Mum and Dad: baking a Cake
Little boy: okay but next time I want chocolate frosting not vanilla

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School Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes Chocolate Jokes

Little Johnny’s teacher was asking all the kids in the class what their parents did for a living.
Little Mary got up and said, “my Dad is a pilot, and my Mommy is an architect.”
“Great” said the teacher.
Michael got up and said, “my Dad is a Doctor, and my Mom is a housewife.” Good said the teacher.
Johnny was last in the class and when he got up he said:
“My Mommy, she is a substitute.”
Knowing better about his background and always striving to correct the kids, the teacher said, “you mean she is a Рrоsтiтuте?”
“No”. Said Johnny, “my Sister, she is the Рrоsтiтuте, but when she does not feel well, my Mommy substitutes.”

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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes Pilot Jokes Aviation Jokes Dad Jokes

The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students came up and took over. "Your hard drive crashed," he said.
I called the computer services office and explained, "My computer is down. The hard drive crashed."
"We can't just send people down on your say so. How do you know that's the problem"?
"A student told me," I answered.
"We'll send someone over right away."

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Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Computer Jokes