Science jokes

Newest jokes in this category

According to Albert Einstein there is nothing faster than the speed of light.

But he is wrong... you can make something much more faster than light:

1. First take torch or a flash light.
2. Now take a video camera and record it.
3. Now put the video you have recorded in to your video player.

4. FAST FORWARD THE VIDEO.

CONGRATULATIONS YOU GOT SOMETHING FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF LIGHT!

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Science jokes

A teacher in a political science class asked the students, "Who is the most powerful person in the US?"
A student answered, "The First Pet?"
The teacher then asked, "Why?"
The student explained, "Because, the president kneels before him, talks to him, listens to him, follows him, prefers him to office staff, looks after his wellbeing before the voters', cancels/defers official duties in favor of him, and boards Airforce One first."

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Science jokes Office and Work Jokes Political Jokes School Jokes

The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.

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Apple and iPhone Jokes Science jokes

My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80’s like.
So I turned the Wi-Fi off and took away his smart phone.

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Science jokes

Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass.

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Religion jokes Science jokes

Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.

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Animal Jokes Science jokes

The new iPhone’s are out and some are complaining that their phones are bending.
Here’s an idea. If your phone bends too much, wrap it around your wrist and tell people it’s the Apple Watch.
You’ll be the first one to have it.

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

I saw that new advert for Pizza Hut today that said “Now, order with your iPhone.”
Question… Couldn’t you always order with your iPhone, seeing as it is, in fact, a phone?

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

Do you want to know how often I say element jokes? Periodically.

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Science jokes

Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A:
"Annex" marks the spot.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes Pirate Jokes

Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food:

*Your hot dog just fetched its own ketchup and relish.

*You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive central nervous system in you Jell-O.

*Chocchini: looks like zucchini, tastes like a chocolate Ding Dоng.

*The black-eyed peas on your fork just winked at you.

*Every time you pour a glass of orange juice, your garage door goes up.

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Food Jokes Science jokes Chocolate Jokes Dog jokes

Those Beats By Dr Dre headphones are a great product.
It used to be hard to spot a сunт unless he got his iPhone out…

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

I used to know a lot of science jokes, but now they argon.

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Science jokes

Q. Why is quantum mechanics is the original "original hipster"?
A. It described the universe before it was cool.

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Science jokes

“Wow, you’re amazing!” she said after we made love. “With qualities like that, you must drive dozens of women crazy.”
“Not at all,” I said, “in fact I’m very choosy. I’m only into women I can really talk to, for example about politics, psychology, art, science, music, classical ballet … in a word, a woman has to be highly intelligent to land in my bed.”
She was obviously flattered: “So what impressed most you about me?”
“Your t*ts, of course.”

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Jokes about Women Political Jokes Science jokes Dating Jokes

iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone.
That’s like if my bed was named iSex.

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

Has anyone had a look in Schrödinger’s grave to see if he’s in there?

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Science jokes

I’m still pondering whether to buy the new IPhone 7 or use the money to buy a lifetime supply of clothes for the family from Primark.

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Money jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

News: “Lab-grown penises ready for testing on men”
Now I’m no scientist but I can see a fundamental error here.

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News and Politics Jokes Men jokes Science jokes

Mr. Dickson, the science teacher, asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.
They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer.
“Look,” said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little “zero."
"This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh,” said the children.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, “Mr. Dickson,my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole.
“Hmmmm,” he thought, “How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I’ll be darned; I don’t know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?”
Yes,” said Little Johnny, “You take a flute and shove it up your аss !”

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Science jokes School Jokes