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There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs.
He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.
So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!"
The frog jumps 2 feet.
He writes in his lab book:
"Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet."
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
"Jump frog jump!" he says.
The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
So he writes in his lab book:
"Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet."
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.
He writes in his book:
"Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot."
He continues and removes yet another leg.
"Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.
So he writes in his lab book again:
"Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally he chops off the last leg.
He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump.
"Jump frog, jump!"
The frog doesn’t move.
"Jump frog, jump!"
Again the frog stays on the line.
"Come on frog, jump!"
But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book:
"Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
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O ne year at  Halloween, the governor of Illinois was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived, he announced, “Mickey and Minnie Mouse”. As the next couple arrived he announced “Tarzan and Jane”, and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening, a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants, but apart from that totally nакеd from head to toe. “Who do you think you are?” demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local University Computer Science department, the doorman asked “How shall I announce you?”
The man said, “I’m premature еjасulатiоn.”
“I’m very sorry sir,” said the doorman in obvious shock, “I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.”
“Okay.” said the professor. “Just say I came in my pants.”
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