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Science jokes

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My biology teacher tells me that I need to focus more in lessons.
They say I always ask off topic questions. But I'm just interested, that's all.
Science is interesting. Apparently there is a species of fish called "irrelevant".
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Science jokes Fishing Jokes Biology jokes School Jokes
When I die I'm going to donate my body to science.
That's the only way I'll ever get into medical school.
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Science jokes School Jokes
A mugger jumps out in front of a university student...
... And shouts "your money or your life!"
The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".
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Science jokes School Jokes
Give a man an egg and he’ll eat for a day
Breed a man that can lay an egg and suddenly you’re “taking science too far.”
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Science jokes
It’s forty years ago today since the first mobile phone call was made.
It was to customer services and he is still on hold.
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Science jokes
Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
It turns out my high school Chemistry teacher was right….
…..
Alcohol IS a solution.
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School Jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Science jokes Chemistry Jokes
Ladies…You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right?
Just checking.
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Science jokes
What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
An IN-body experience!
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Blonde Jokes Science jokes
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs.
He was measuring just how far frogs could jump.
So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!"
The frog jumps 2 feet.
He writes in his lab book:
"Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet."
Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment.
"Jump frog jump!" he says.
The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet.
So he writes in his lab book:
"Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet."
He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot.
He writes in his book:
"Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot."
He continues and removes yet another leg.
"Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot.
So he writes in his lab book again:
"Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally he chops off the last leg.
He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump.
"Jump frog, jump!"
The frog doesn’t move.
"Jump frog, jump!"
Again the frog stays on the line.
"Come on frog, jump!"
But to no avail.
The biologist finally writes in his book:
"Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
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Animal Jokes Science jokes
The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed:
“Give four advantages of вrеаsт milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:
1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can’t steal it.
3. Available whenever necessary.
So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more, he sighed. He frowned. He scowled, then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly, he scribbled his definitive answer:
4. Available in attractive containers.
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School Jokes Science jokes
What do you call it when an astronaut gets sick after eating?
Launching his lunch!
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Science jokes
"I read somewhere that they're going to launch some weasels up in a rocket."
"So where are they headed?"
"Otter space, of course!"
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Science jokes
There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
I Racked my brain and searched far and wide because I wanted to post a really great chemistry joke. …
…
Alas, all of the good jokes argon.
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Science jokes
O ne year at  Halloween, the governor of Illinois was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived, he announced, “Mickey and Minnie Mouse”. As the next couple arrived he announced “Tarzan and Jane”, and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening, a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants, but apart from that totally nакеd from head to toe. “Who do you think you are?” demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local University Computer Science department, the doorman asked “How shall I announce you?”
The man said, “I’m premature еjасulатiоn.”
“I’m very sorry sir,” said the doorman in obvious shock, “I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.”
“Okay.” said the professor. “Just say I came in my pants.”
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Men jokes Halloween Jokes Science jokes
Why was astrology invented?
So economics could be an accurate science.
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Science jokes
A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.”
The professor returned the test the following with $40 and a note attached. The note read, “Here's your $40 change.”
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School Jokes Science jokes
I read that Alton Towers have started giving blind visitors a hand-held device that describes the attractions they are ‘seeing’.
It’s an iPod that keeps repeating, “You’re in a queue of 400 people.”
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Science jokes
Do you want to hear an uplifting Helium joke?
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Science jokes
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