Science jokes

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"What are you doing there?"
"I'm making something."
"What are you making?"
"A bomb."
"Can I help?"
"Impossible. It's a nuclear one..."

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Office and Work Jokes Life Jokes Science jokes

A UNI graduate is applying for a part time job to help with his course fees. He applies to work in a supermarket and gets the job. The first day the manager tells him to sweep the floor, the UNI grad. is furious and shouts "hey mate, don't you know that I have several degrees in various areas of science and after seven years of going to university you ask me to sweep the floor". The manager replied “Oh sorry, I didn't know that, here pass me the broom and I’ll show you how to sweep the floor."

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Office and Work Jokes Science jokes Boss Jokes

Hi, my name is Bill Gates and today I’ll teach you how to count to ten:
1, 2, 3, 95, 98, NT, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10

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Science jokes

My female science teacher was gloating about how scientists have discovered a way to make stem-cells develop into working sемеn.
She was telling our class that the human race no longer needed men.
I laughed at her and said;
“Okay, with no men, where the fuск are you going to get a scientist?”

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Jokes about Women Office and Work Jokes Men jokes Science jokes School Jokes

Microsoft’s new Windows advert talks about life without walls…
Surely life without walls is a Window’s worst nightmare.

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Science jokes

Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius... I've been using money.

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Money jokes Dirty jokes Science jokes

Why are there a ton of Religious Holidays but no Science Holidays?
Because science works.

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Science jokes

Me: I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework
Computer Science Professor: Your dog ate your coding assignment?
**Awkward silence**
Me: It took him a couple bytes

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Science jokes Dog jokes

A man once insulted Chuck Norris by saying he was smarter than him.
That man was Stephen Hawking.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Insult Jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Men jokes Science jokes

Science built skyscrapers and airplanes
But only religion can bring the two together.

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Science jokes Aviation Jokes

My brother wanted to play cowboys and indians
So I put on a ten gallon hat and and chaps and he went to MIT and graduated in computer science.

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Science jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes

Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes Science jokes

Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Food Jokes Science jokes

The Question Mark was invented after scientists attempted to measure the speed of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes

Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth.
Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes History Jokes

The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes Nerd jokes

Chuck Norris beat a black hole in a tug of war.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Military Jokes Science jokes

Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS?
They can't get the laboratory mice to аrsе f*ck.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Science jokes

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
Chuck Norris is clapping.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes