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Science jokes

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Two men (a Russian and an American) were talking about their countries' accomplishments.
The Russian says,
"We were the first to go into Space."
The American replies,
"Well, we were the first to land on the moon."
Sick of their arrogance, another man comes over and says,
"Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna be the first one on the Sun!"
The Russian and American both laugh saying, "You can't go to the Sun. It's too hot. You'll burn up"
The man confidently replies,
"I'm not an idiот. I'll just go at night!"
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Men jokes Science jokes American Jokes
It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
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Science jokes
Raphael is in biology class. Each student is dissecting a cockroach. He cuts off one leg, and says, “walk,” …
It walks. …
…
He cuts off the 2nd and 3rd legs and says, “walk,” …
It walks. …
He cuts off all the remaining legs and says, “walk….”
The cockroach doesn’t move.
Finally, Raphael writes his conclusion……
“After all the legs of a cockroach are cut off - it becomes deaf.”
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Science jokes School Jokes
E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
Mercury has a harsh climate, as the day time temperature is 430 degrees Celcius. At night however, it freezes to -170 degrees Celcius.
First world problems.
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Science jokes
A young man walks onto the stage of Stars in their Eyes, on crutches, with a plaster cast from his feet to his hips.
Matthew Kelly Introduces him as Simon.
“It’s very brave of you to come out here,” says Matthew. “Please tell the audience what happened.”
“Well,” replies Simon, “about a year ago, I was driving with my uncle when we had a really bad accident. Unfortunately my uncle was killed outright but I survived. I was trapped in the car for six hours before I was eventually cut free. The doctors had me in surgery for 12 hours but they couldn’t save my legs.”
“That’s terrible. But I see you have legs now. Are they artificial?” asks Matthew.
“No Matthew, while I was in hospital the doctors informed me that my uncle had in fact died. But they also said that his legs were fine and, with all the advances in medical science, they could graft the bottom half of his body onto mine. As you can see the operation was successful.
“I have been having physiotherapy for six months and hope to be walking fully again by the end of the year.”
A huge round of applause erupts from the audience.
Kelly responds with:
“That’s an unbelievable story. So tonight, who are you going to be?”
“Tonight, Matthew, I am going to be Simon and Half-uncle.”
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Men jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes
A neutrino walks into a bar ... and keeps going!!
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Science jokes
Logic says the sсrеw I dropped should be somewhere by my feet, but science says it’s under the couch in the other room.
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Science jokes
Chuck Norris went out of an infinite loop.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
There was no Big Ваng.
Chuck Norris arm wrestled himself and the energy produced created the universe.
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Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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Car and driving jokes Chuck Norris Jokes Science jokes
Yo mama so fат when she went to outer space NASA thought they discovered a new planet.
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Yo Momma Jokes Science jokes Travel and Tourist Jokes
Yo momma is so fат, that when NASA put her on the moon, her вrеаsтs were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
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Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes Science jokes
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
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Yo Momma Jokes Science jokes Chemistry Jokes Fart Jokes
Evolution: True science fiction.
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Science jokes Life Jokes
There are 5 states of matter: … Solids, Liquids, Gases, Plasma and …..
…..
Black Lives
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Science jokes
WhatsApp kept crashing on my phone, so I downloaded something called ‘The Bugs Bunny’ to sort it out.
It’s a WhatsApp Doc.
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Science jokes
Q: What is written on Steve Jobs tombstone?
A: iCame, iSaw, iConquered, iLeft, iCameBack, iThinkDifferent, iMac, iPod, iTunes, iPhone, iPad, iCloud, iRIP
Q: Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
A: They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn’t have a Flash player installed!
Q: Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died?
A: Everyone at Apple are crying their i’s out!
Q: What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
A: Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: Why won’t blondes take their iPhones to the bathroom?
A: Because they don’t want to give away their IP address!
Steve Jobs‘ funeral will be held next week, after which he will be reburied every six months in a slightly better coffin.
Do not touch MY iPhone. It’s not an usPhone, it’s not a wePhone, it’s not an ourPhone, it’s an iPhone.
I don’t understand why everybody wants the white iPhone, Everyone knows the black one runs faster.
I pressed the ‘home’ button but I’m still at school…
If your iPhone is black and you’re making Siri do tasks for you you’re pretty much saying slavery was OK.
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School Jokes Blonde Jokes Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
Mr. Dickson, the science teacher, asked his 4th graders one day if anyone knew how to put 2 holes into 1 hole.
Since no one was able to answer the question, he told the kids to go home and ask their fathers.
They came back the next day and still no one knew the answer.
“Look,” said Mr. Dickson while holding his index finger against his thumb, forming a little “zero."
"This is one hole, my nose has 2 holes, and I can put my hand over my nose and make my nose holes appear inside this other hole.”
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh,” said the children.
The next day, Little Johnny stood up and said, “Mr. Dickson,my daddy wants to know if you know how to put 7 holes in 1 hole.
“Hmmmm,” he thought, “How can you put 7 holes in 1? Well, I’ll be darned; I don’t know how to do that. Um, did your father tell you how to?”
Yes,” said Little Johnny, “You take a flute and shove it up your аss !”
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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Science jokes School Jokes
News: “Lab-grown penises ready for testing on men”
Now I’m no scientist but I can see a fundamental error here.
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News and Politics Jokes Men jokes Science jokes
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