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Science jokes

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I’m still pondering whether to buy the new IPhone 7 or use the money to buy a lifetime supply of clothes for the family from Primark.

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Has anyone had a look in Schrödinger’s grave to see if he’s in there?

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Science jokes

iPhone is really a terrible name considering how rarely I use it as a phone.
That’s like if my bed was named iSex.

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

“Wow, you’re amazing!” she said after we made love. “With qualities like that, you must drive dozens of women crazy.”
“Not at all,” I said, “in fact I’m very choosy. I’m only into women I can really talk to, for example about politics, psychology, art, science, music, classical ballet … in a word, a woman has to be highly intelligent to land in my bed.”
She was obviously flattered: “So what impressed most you about me?”
“Your t*ts, of course.”

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Q. Why is quantum mechanics is the original "original hipster"?
A. It described the universe before it was cool.

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Science jokes

I used to know a lot of science jokes, but now they argon.

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Science jokes

Those Beats By Dr Dre headphones are a great product.
It used to be hard to spot a сunт unless he got his iPhone out…

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

Signs that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified food:

*Your hot dog just fetched its own ketchup and relish.

*You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive central nervous system in you Jell-O.

*Chocchini: looks like zucchini, tastes like a chocolate Ding Dоng.

*The black-eyed peas on your fork just winked at you.

*Every time you pour a glass of orange juice, your garage door goes up.

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Q: Why do pirates like algebra?
A:
"Annex" marks the spot.

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Do you want to know how often I say element jokes? Periodically.

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Science jokes

I saw that new advert for Pizza Hut today that said “Now, order with your iPhone.”
Question… Couldn’t you always order with your iPhone, seeing as it is, in fact, a phone?

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

The new iPhone’s are out and some are complaining that their phones are bending.
Here’s an idea. If your phone bends too much, wrap it around your wrist and tell people it’s the Apple Watch.
You’ll be the first one to have it.

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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes

Q: Why do centipedes have 100 legs?
A: So they can walk.

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Q: Why are atoms Catholic?
A: Because they have mass.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.

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Zombie

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Science jokes

The awkward moment when you mispronounce organism in science class.

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Q: What do you get when you complete science class?
A: A graduated cylinder.

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My ten year old son just asked me what were the 80’s like.
So I turned the Wi-Fi off and took away his smart phone.

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Science jokes

Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets.
They do so within groups of 40.

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