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Science jokes

Newest jokes in this category
How do you know if someone has an iPhone?
They tell you.
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How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
The science graduate asks, "Why does it work?"

The engineering graduate asks, "How does it work?"

The accounting graduate asks, "How much does it cost?"

The liberal arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
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Office and Work Jokes Science jokes
A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!”
“That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.”
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School Jokes Military Jokes Political Jokes Science jokes College jokes
Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
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Science jokes Rude Jokes
iPhone users update:
- I’ll screenshot it, I’ll tweet about it, I’ll Instagram it, I’ll write a blog about it, I’ll delete half of my contents for it, I’ll get enraged about it.
Android users update:
- *clicks update, gets on with life*
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Social Network Jokes Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
Whenever I go to a restaurant, I always order is "dihydrogen monoxide on the rocks with a clear siphoning tube inside a glass".

The waiters/waitresses always ask me what drink is that?

I tell them that's the scientific name of a glass of ice water with a straw.
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Science jokes Restaurant Jokes
The new iPhone 7 is just a slower, heavier, thicker, and much less attractive version of the iPhone 8.
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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
John asks: Why are you drinking so much?
Joe says: Because I donated my body to science, and I am preserving it until they are ready to use it.
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Science jokes
I’ve just picked up my new iPhone and I’m well impressed.
The first thing I did was ring up my brother and spend a good twenty minutes boasting about all its amazing features.
It would’ve been longer but the fсuкing battery died.
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Science jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
Q: What do computers eat for a snack?
A: Microchips!
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Technology Jokes Computer Jokes Programmer Jokes Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes
Photons have mass? I didn't know that they were Catholic.
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Religion jokes Science jokes Christian Jokes
Q: Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
A: Because if you can't heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um.
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Science jokes
A mugger holds a man at gunpoint and says, “Give me your wallet or you’re science!”
The man says, “Don’t you mean history?”
The mugger yells, “Don’t try to change the subject!”
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Men jokes Science jokes Criminal Jokes
I would make another chemistry joke, but they ARGON.
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Science jokes
Q: What did the 30 degree angle say to the 90 degree angle?
A:
"You think you're always right!"
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Science jokes
Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it. Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies, "Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."
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Решили няколко от по-известните учени в Рая да поиграят на криеница. Айнщайн, Нютон и Паскал играят на криеница. Ред е на Айнщайн да брои, затова той закрива очите си и започва да брои до десет. Паскал бяга и се крие в храстите. Нютон начертава квадрат със страна един метър точно зад Айнщайн и застава в неговите очертания. Айнщайн приключва броенето, отваря очи,... Жмурка Cierta vez, todos los científicos, ya muertos, que estaban en el cielo, se propusieron jugar al escondite. En el sorteo le tocó a Einstein ser el primero en contar. Al comenzar Einstein, todos... Hay una fiesta de físicos y matemáticos que de pronto se aburren y deciden jugar a las escondidas, después de un sorteo le toca contar a Arquimides y empieza el juego. Euler se mete bajo un carro,... C'est Newton, Pascal et Einstein qui jouent a cache-cache. Einstein commence à compter, Pascal part se cacher mais Newton reste sur place. Il se met alors à dessiner un carré d'1m de côté et se... Toti oamenii de stiinta jucau fata'ascunselea in Rai. Se pune Einstein si incepe sa numere. Toti se ascund pe Unde gasesc, numai Newton ia o creta, traseaza un Patrat cu latura de 1 m si se aseaza...
Science jokes American Presidents Humor
When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I hear they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.
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Insult Jokes Science jokes
Two hydrogen atoms are at a party and bump into each other. The first one says, "Hey, grab that electron, it's mine!"
"How do you know?" asks the second. "'Cause I'm positive!" the first replies.
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I lost an electron A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..." Molecule 1: I just lost an electron. Molecule 2: Are you sure? Molecule 1: I’m positive. Two molecules are walking down the street and one starts looking around. The other asks, "What's wrong?" "I have lost my electron!" "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" Two atoms were walking down the street. One atom says to the other one, "I've lost an electron!" The 2nd atom replies, "Are you sure?" "I'm positive." Iba un átomo caminado por la calle con cara de preocupación. Un átomo conocido lo ve y le pregunta: Qué tal amigo, ¿Por qué tan estresado? Es que perdí un electrón, respondió. ¿Estás seguro? Sí, estoy completamente positivo. Dos moléculas están caminando en la calle y chocan. Una le dice a la otra: “¿Estas bien” “¡No, perdí un electrón!” “¿Estas seguro?” “Positivo” Das verlorene Elektron Due atomi si incontrano per strada. Il primo: "Come va? Tutto bene?". L'altro, mesto: "Uh.. no.. ho subito una perdita... un mio elettrone...". "Ma ne sei certo?". "Eh, si'... sono risultato positivo..."
Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Science jokes
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees, and minutes, the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, four minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude?" After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
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School Jokes Science jokes
A science teacher walked by Taipei 101 and saw a man on top of the building ready to jump.
He quickly shouted out "Don't do it!! You have so much potential!!"
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School Jokes Men jokes Science jokes
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