Sports Jokes

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Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry.
By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared. And best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in the privacy of your own home.
Exercise #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight.
Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room.
Press the bookends against one of your вrеаsтs.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Repeat with the other вrеаsт. Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.
Exercise #2 Open your refrigerator door and insert one вrеаsт between the door and the main box.
Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure.
Hold that position for five seconds.
Do this again in case the last time wasn't effective enough.
Then repeat with the other вrеаsт.
Exercise #3 Visit your garage at 3 a. M. when the temperature of the concrete floor is just perfect.
Take off all your warm clothes and lay comfortably on the floor with one вrеаsт wedged under the rear tire of the car.
Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the вrеаsт is sufficiently flattened and chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the other вrеаsт.
Congratulations!
Now you are properly prepared for your mammogram.
Jokes about Women Car and driving jokes Friendship Jokes Sports Jokes
After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home.
As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked,
"Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?"
"Yes," the golfer responded.
"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"
"Yes, I did.
How did you know?" he asked.
"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield.
The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck.
The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down.
So, what are you going to do about it?"
The golfer thought it over carefully and responded...
"I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."
Sports Jokes Police Officer Jokes Golf jokes
Тръгнал един любител на зимния риболов за риба. Une blonde qui s'ennuie décide un jour de se trouver un hobby: la pêche sur lac glacé. Une fois installée sur la glace avec un petit tabouret, elle sort tout le matériel, l'équipement nécessaire, puis au moment de commencer à faire un trou dans la glace, une grosse voix retentit: - Il n'y a pas... Bellman skulle lära sig att fiska så han köpte ett metspö och en isborr och gick till en is men när han började borra så sa en röst över honom. - Det finns ingen fisk under isen Då gick Bellman...
Sports Jokes God Jokes Boss Jokes
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden. Как наричате бял човек, заобиколен от 3 негра? - Загазил. Как наричате бял човек, заобиколен от 5 негра? - Треньор. Как наричате бял човек, заобиколен от 1000 негра? - Надзирател в затвора. Как называется один белый в окружении тысячи негров? Надсмотрщик. There is a 1000 niggers and one white guy, what is the white guy called? Warden.
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